被击中的日记一则

04/22/16Whywasitawe-inspiring?WhywasIawe-stiken?It’sthesteadinessandcoldnessofmemory,history,nature,alteredbypowerwhilestayingunalterable.It’sNapoléonclaiminghewentforwarforart.It’stheironiceffectgeneratedbytheladybesidehimrepeating“Liberté,égalité,fraternité”combinedwithhimadding“c’estmoi!”It’sthesaddeningcombination(ha,hodgepodge)ofart,music,beauty,love,war,famine,cold,death…It’sJaujardtryingto“beg”forlifeandsalvationforhisfriendsfromhisNazi“colleague”Metternich,whilehe’sacivilservantofFrancewhoactuallyworksforart,orhimself(theartheinterprets?Whodoesn’t?Whocanavoidthat?).It’sthemtwosittinginthechairs,toldbyus,now,abouttheirfutureanddestiny,whentheyseetheimpossibilityforthem,forallhumans,toavoidmundanelifeanddeath.Andtheaudience?Audiencelikeme.Wefeltrelievedwhenweseethemfallintoworldlycycles,whereasoneminuteago,wewerestruckbytheeternityandtheholieststatueofart.It’swhenyoustepout,yourealizethedayisstillchanging,asisartdeveloping,asishumanracechargingforward,asareallthestarsandplanetskeepingonspinning.Thedusk-theduskisbeautiful-weseecoupleslingeringinthestreets,unawareofthechanges,thesteps.Butit’srelieving.Iamrelieved.IseethatIamnottheonlyone-Iambutone,ifnottheslightestone,ofthefightersandthinkersofartandlifeandbalance.What’sthemeaning?Whatcomesfirst?Whatoccupiesthepriority,akatheeternity?Thereisnoanswer,evenifyouaredoingit.It’satrapthatnooneescapes.Thereisnochanceforanyonetobeagreatman,whostaysingloryinhistoryandeternity.Humansarebuthumblecontributorstoart,tobeauty,tohistory;butweoughttofeelrelived—ratherthanashamedordwellingintoescapism—thatwearehumans,thatwemakehumanmistakes,thatwearethedumbestofall,inlife,intheeternaleyefromaplacethatisnoone’sperspective.