台词摘录

oneofthecharactersdescribestheoriginalasquot;amasterworkofpostmodernismbeforetherewasanymodernismtobepost.quot;00:06:29,922--gt;00:06:31,412Ineedtopee!10300:06:31,457--gt;00:06:33,448Liftyournightshirtup.10400:06:35,894--gt;00:06:38,226Pokeyourlittlepeckeroutthewindow.10500:06:38,263--gt;00:06:41,323Doyouthinkthetimemightcomewhenyoudontmakemuchofafuss10600:06:41,366--gt;00:06:43,061aboutpassingyourwater?Thatsit.10700:06:52,644--gt;00:06:56,239Thatisachildactorpretendingtobeme.===============00:08:10,088--gt;00:08:12,181Howdidthishappen?13200:08:12,224--gt;00:08:14,988Itwasmyfault.Iremovedtheweights13300:08:15,027--gt;00:08:16,722-fromthesashwindow---What?13400:08:16,762--gt;00:08:20,129AtMr.TobysrequesttomakemortarsfortheSiegeofNamur.13500:08:20,165--gt;00:08:23,396IwishnowwithallmyheartIhadcutoffsomethingelse.13600:08:28,273--gt;00:08:30,173MypoorlittleTristram.13700:08:36,315--gt;00:08:39,284Sobothmyuncleandmyselfwerevictims13800:08:39,318--gt;00:08:41,047oftheBattleofNamur13900:08:41,086--gt;00:08:43,350eventhoughittookplaceyearsbeforemybirth.14000:08:44,356--gt;00:08:47,325Iwasnotunmanned,bytheway.14100:08:47,359--gt;00:08:49,691Iwascircumcisedlikealotofmen--14200:08:49,728--gt;00:08:51,195manlymen.=============38400:21:17,408--gt;00:21:20,002Ithadeverbeenmyfatherswish38500:21:20,044--gt;00:21:21,636tohaveasonwithabignose.38600:21:21,679--gt;00:21:24,739Allthegreatmenofantiquityhadbignoses,38700:21:24,782--gt;00:21:27,182anoselikeCaesar,Dante,38800:21:27,218--gt;00:21:29,686Pythagoras,Newton,38900:21:29,721--gt;00:21:31,916AlexandertheGreat.39000:21:31,956--gt;00:21:33,890ButImgettingaheadofmyself.============81100:40:05,902--gt;00:40:08,268Lovestoriesarejustasboringasbattlescenes.81200:40:08,305--gt;00:40:10,364Whatis--whatissooriginal81300:40:10,407--gt;00:40:12,432andexcitingaboutthenovel81400:40:12,476--gt;00:40:14,671isthequot;Tristrampedia.quot;81500:40:14,711--gt;00:40:16,838WhereTristram--81600:40:16,880--gt;00:40:20,577Nono,itswhereWalterspendstheentirepregnancy81700:40:20,617--gt;00:40:23,518Iikecompilingthisbookofknowledge81800:40:23,553--gt;00:40:25,350Iikeanencyclopedia,81900:40:25,388--gt;00:40:27,413justforhisson.82000:40:28,692--gt;00:40:30,319TheJewishcustomofcircumcision82100:40:30,360--gt;00:40:32,225cametotheJewsbywayofEgypt82200:40:32,262--gt;00:40:35,288orpossiblyfromtheSyrians82300:40:35,332--gt;00:40:38,130orthePhoeniciansortheCapadocians,82400:40:38,168--gt;00:40:40,398whichsuggests...82500:40:41,505--gt;00:40:46,306thatZolaandPythagorasandPtolemy82600:40:46,343--gt;00:40:48,334wereallcircumcised.82700:40:48,378--gt;00:40:51,472Iftheysubmittedtoit,whynotyou?===============40700:22:22,407--gt;00:22:24,398Fourfingers,40800:22:24,442--gt;00:22:26,273-Shesfourfingersdilated---Good.40900:22:26,310--gt;00:22:30,041ThehighestisTrismegistusasinHermesTrismegistus,41000:22:30,081--gt;00:22:33,778thegreatestphilosopher,thegreatestlaw-giver,41100:22:33,818--gt;00:22:35,877thegreatestpriest.41200:22:35,920--gt;00:22:37,683Andhewasanengineer.41300:22:37,722--gt;00:22:39,417Thenyoushouldcallhimthat,then.41400:22:39,457--gt;00:22:41,982ThechildshouldbecalledTristram.41500:22:42,026--gt;00:22:43,926-Tristram,no.-Tristram.41600:22:43,961--gt;00:22:47,488No,Tristramstheworst.Tristramisthedogsbreathworst...===========43700:23:34,879--gt;00:23:37,279Thename,sir,thename,thename.43800:23:37,315--gt;00:23:39,215-Trismegistus.-Trismegistus.43900:23:39,250--gt;00:23:41,445Yourealeakyvessel.44000:23:41,486--gt;00:23:44,319Canyoucarryitthelengthofthecorridorwithoutspilling?44100:23:44,355--gt;00:23:46,789Trismegistus,Trismegistus,44200:23:46,824--gt;00:23:48,655Tris--TristramGistus,==========45300:24:16,320--gt;00:24:19,653IbaptizeyouinthenameoftheFather,theSonandtheHolyGhost.45400:24:19,690--gt;00:24:21,954TristramShandy.45500:24:21,993--gt;00:24:24,985Alliswell.LittleTristramismaderightwithGod.45600:24:31,035--gt;00:24:33,560quot;...Brethren,thischildisregenerate,45700:24:33,604--gt;00:24:35,936graftedintothebodyofChristsChurch.45800:24:35,973--gt;00:24:38,100LetusgivethankstoAlmightyGod...quot;====================46800:25:18,516--gt;00:25:21,576Mysonhasbeencursedfromthemomentofhisconception.46900:25:22,920--gt;00:25:25,286Now,Iforgottomentionthis.47000:25:25,323--gt;00:25:27,848Well,itsnotthatIforgot.ItsmorethatIthought...47100:25:27,892--gt;00:25:30,417Ishouldsaveituntilwekneweachotherbetter.47200:25:30,461--gt;00:25:32,588Myfatherhadtwodomesticobligations47300:25:32,630--gt;00:25:35,827andbeingasystematicman,helikedtodispensethembothatonce.47400:25:38,169--gt;00:25:40,660Thefirstwastowindtheclock.47500:25:40,705--gt;00:25:43,173Thesecondwasmoreenjoyable.47600:25:43,207--gt;00:25:45,937Walter!47700:25:49,113--gt;00:25:51,479YoumaybefamiliarwithLockesTheory47800:25:51,515--gt;00:25:53,278oftheAssociationofldeas.47900:25:53,317--gt;00:25:55,751ItsbeenupdatedsincebyPavlovandhisdog.48000:25:57,455--gt;00:25:59,946Ifthedoghearsthemetronomewhenhesbeingfed,48100:25:59,991--gt;00:26:02,926thedogstartstoassociatethemetronomeandfood.48200:26:02,960--gt;00:26:05,155Sointheend,ifhehearsthemetronome48300:26:05,196--gt;00:26:07,061evenwhentheresnofood,48400:26:07,098--gt;00:26:09,931thedogstartstosalivate.48500:26:09,967--gt;00:26:13,562Asimilarassociationofideastookrootinmymothershead48600:26:13,604--gt;00:26:16,300betweenonedomesticobligationandtheother.48700:26:16,340--gt;00:26:18,831Assoonassheheardmyfatherwindingtheclock,48800:26:18,876--gt;00:26:21,606shebegantosalivate,asitwere.48900:26:24,415--gt;00:26:26,713Ofcourse,itworkstheotherwayaroundtoo.49000:26:26,751--gt;00:26:28,582Afterawhile,49100:26:28,619--gt;00:26:31,144ifyougivethedogthefoodwithoutthemetronome,49200:26:31,188--gt;00:26:32,951thedogproducesnosaliva.49300:26:32,990--gt;00:26:35,720Soontheoccasionmyfathercamehome49400:26:35,760--gt;00:26:38,285andwasfeelingsokeentodispenseoneobligation49500:26:38,329--gt;00:26:42,129heskippedtheother,hesurprisedmymother...49600:26:42,166--gt;00:26:43,690Walter.49700:26:43,734--gt;00:26:45,634Elizabeth.49800:26:47,605--gt;00:26:52,167...whowasthereforeunabletoproduceanysaliva.49900:26:57,415--gt;00:26:59,508Mydear...50000:26:59,550--gt;00:27:02,144Mydear,haveyounotforgottowind-uptheclock?50100:27:10,328--gt;00:27:12,694Soitwasthecircumstancesofmyconception50200:27:12,730--gt;00:27:16,496wereasconfusedasthoseofmybirth.==============151601:13:59,107--gt;01:14:01,473ItslikesomeHollywoodversionofquot;TristramShandy.quot;151701:14:01,510--gt;01:14:04,604Yeah,Fassbinderwouldhaveneversoldoutlikethat.151801:14:04,646--gt;01:14:06,546YouknowFassbinder?151901:14:06,581--gt;01:14:08,811-Mm-hmm.-Wow!152001:14:08,850--gt;01:14:11,717Whichisyourfavoritefilm?152101:14:13,155--gt;01:14:14,816Thewhole...152201:14:14,856--gt;01:14:16,380thecorpus,thebloodywork.152301:14:16,425--gt;01:14:18,916quot;FearEatstheSoul.quot;152401:14:18,960--gt;01:14:21,520Yeah.152501:14:21,563--gt;01:14:23,360Theresmoretruthinthattitle152601:14:23,398--gt;01:14:25,628thanthereisinmostwholemovies,youknow?152701:14:25,667--gt;01:14:27,658-Yeah.-Butthethingis152801:14:27,702--gt;01:14:31,001hessuchlikeapowerfulwriter.152901:14:31,039--gt;01:14:32,802Youknowquot;SchattenderEngelquot;153001:14:32,841--gt;01:14:35,139Thatismyfavorite.153101:14:35,177--gt;01:14:38,146-Doyouknowthatone?-Isittheonewithallthesexinit.153201:14:38,180--gt;01:14:42,708No,itstheonewherelngridCavenisthisprostitute,153301:14:42,751--gt;01:14:45,743butthethingisthatshessobeautiful153401:14:45,787--gt;01:14:48,347shedoesntevenneedtotouchthepunters.153501:14:48,390--gt;01:14:51,086Theyrejusthappyto,like,sitinherroom153601:14:51,126--gt;01:14:52,957andjustlookather.153701:14:52,994--gt;01:14:56,191Thethingisthathumanityissodisgusting153801:14:56,231--gt;01:15:00,099theykindof,like,invadeandpolluteherwiththeirproblems153901:15:00,135--gt;01:15:02,899andtheirinsecuritiessothatintheend,154001:15:02,938--gt;01:15:05,702itsactuallybetterforhertojustfuckthem.154101:15:05,740--gt;01:15:07,935Youknow,itscleanerforhertofuckthem154201:15:07,976--gt;01:15:09,466thanitistolistentothem.154301:15:09,511--gt;01:15:11,445Yourewatchingthemovieandyoure,like,154401:15:11,480--gt;01:15:13,345quot;Justfuckthem,Lilly!Justfuckthem!quot;154501:15:13,381--gt;01:15:15,144-DoyouknowwhatImean?-Fuckthem.154601:15:18,687--gt;01:15:20,450Fillmewithyourbabies.154701:15:27,696--gt;01:15:30,597Whatwhatwhat?Whatdidyousay?154801:15:30,632--gt;01:15:33,465Whatdidyoujustsay?154901:15:33,502--gt;01:15:36,528Idontknow.IthinkIsaid,quot;Fuckme.quot;155001:15:36,571--gt;01:15:39,005-Ithink.-Thethingis--155101:15:39,040--gt;01:15:40,871no,yousaidsomethingelse.155201:15:40,909--gt;01:15:42,638Thatsnotwhatyousaid.155301:15:42,677--gt;01:15:44,304ItswhatImeant.=================95500:46:38,027--gt;00:46:42,191Davesjustbeeninquot;AroundtheWorldin80Days.quot;95600:46:42,232--gt;00:46:45,065-Anybattles?-Well,notreally.95700:46:45,101--gt;00:46:47,626ItwasaJackieChanfilm.Tellhim--95800:46:47,670--gt;00:46:50,332Doyouknowthatthebestbattlescene95900:46:50,373--gt;00:46:51,931isinquot;LancelotduLacquot;?96000:46:51,975--gt;00:46:55,911Youknow--yeah,thatsright,theBressonfilm.96100:46:55,945--gt;00:46:58,209Itsjusttherearethesetwoknights96200:46:58,248--gt;00:47:00,148andtheyrebothencasedinarmor,96300:47:00,183--gt;00:47:02,174andtheyjustkeepclobberingeachother.96400:47:02,218--gt;00:47:03,651Youknow,itgoesonforever.96500:47:03,686--gt;00:47:05,415Yourejusthittingandhitting.96600:47:05,455--gt;00:47:09,687Itsactuallylikeametaphorforlife,youknow?96700:47:10,010--gt;00:47:12,740Itsabouttheimpossibilityofactuallyconnecting96800:47:12,769--gt;00:47:14,293withanotherhumanbeing,96900:47:14,337--gt;00:47:16,703becausewereallwearingthesecarapaces,97000:47:16,740--gt;00:47:20,801thiscasing,thisrubbish,really.97100:47:20,844--gt;00:47:23,677Andthemoretheyhitandhit,97200:47:23,713--gt;00:47:27,080actually,thelesstheyimpact.97300:47:27,117--gt;00:47:30,086Its-itsjust...97400:47:30,120--gt;00:47:32,247reallyreallymoving,actually.97500:47:32,289--gt;00:47:34,120Mm-hmm,wow.97600:47:34,157--gt;00:47:36,455-Illseeyoulater.-Okay,seeyoulaterthen.97700:47:36,493--gt;00:47:38,427Seeyoulater.97800:47:41,598--gt;00:47:43,828Whatwasallthatabout?97900:47:43,867--gt;00:47:45,892Yeah,shesabitofafilmnut.98000:47:45,936--gt;00:47:48,302YoushouldhearherwhenshesonaboutFassbinder.98100:47:48,338--gt;00:47:50,329-Fassbinder?-Ivegotalist98200:47:50,373--gt;00:47:53,399ofthementhatfell--98300:47:53,443--gt;00:47:55,96892diedthatmorning,98400:47:56,012--gt;00:47:58,105soyourchapwasluckytobealive.98500:47:58,148--gt;00:48:02,983Icouldfixupyourlotwithreal,accuratenames,98600:48:03,019--gt;00:48:05,749andthentheycanshoutouttheirnamestoeachother98700:48:05,789--gt;00:48:07,416intheheatofthebattle.98800:48:07,457--gt;00:48:11,257-Whatdowethink?-Thankyou.Thatwouldbereally--98900:48:11,294--gt;00:48:13,285Haveyouseenquot;ColdMountainquot;?99000:48:13,330--gt;00:48:15,764-Yeah.-Whatdoyouthink?99100:48:15,799--gt;00:48:17,790Ithoughtitwasgood.99200:48:17,834--gt;00:48:20,029IthoughtNicoleKidmanwasabitold,99300:48:20,070--gt;00:48:23,096-butIthoughtitwasagoodfilm---Nono,thebattlescenes.99400:48:23,139--gt;00:48:25,073Oh,fantastic!Veryverygood.99500:48:25,108--gt;00:48:27,736Thatexplosionandwhenhejumpsdown...99600:48:27,777--gt;00:48:29,711-Thatwasthebestone.-Itsshite!99700:48:29,746--gt;00:48:32,374Uttershitefrombeginningtoend.=============IlookedthisupafterACockandBullStorywasbroadcastontheBBCtheothernight.Weirdlyenough,thetitleshementionedwasSchattenderEngel(1976),which,whilebasedonaFassbinderplay,wasnotactuallydirectedbyFassbinderhimself.Presumablythiswasintendedasanin-jokebythescreenwriter(i.e.designedtogivecuriousviewerssometroublesearchingitout-dittowithherreferencetooneofthehardest-to-findBressons,LancelotduLac).============101400:49:28,738--gt;00:49:30,968Bach.101500:49:31,007--gt;00:49:33,271Ithasacalmingeffectonbabies.101600:49:33,310--gt;00:49:35,505MyparentsneverplayedmeBach.101700:49:35,545--gt;00:49:38,173TheyplayedmeNewSeekers.101800:49:38,214--gt;00:49:40,148Iturnedoutfine.=======124900:59:59,268--gt;01:00:01,202whenwevisitedShandyHall?125001:00:01,237--gt;01:00:04,604Thethemeofquot;TristramShandyquot;isaverysimpleone--125101:00:04,640--gt;01:00:06,972Lifeischaotic,itsamorphous.125201:00:07,009--gt;01:00:11,343Nomatterhowhardyoutry,youcantactuallymakeitfitanyshape.125301:00:11,380--gt;01:00:14,713Tristramhimselfistryingtowritehislifesstory,125401:00:14,750--gt;01:00:18,117butitescapeshimcauselifeistoofull,toorich125501:00:18,154--gt;01:00:20,987tobeabletobecapturedbyart.125601:00:21,023--gt;01:00:24,356AndhisfatherWaltertriestoplaneveryaspect125701:00:24,393--gt;01:00:28,352ofTristramsbirth,conception,childhoodandsoon,125801:00:28,397--gt;01:00:30,865andhisplansallgowrong.