重新翻了一遍字幕……

我是有多闲……——————————我是分割线————————————Andtheywonderwhy大人们很疑惑thoseofusinourtwenties...为什么我们这些二十出头的年轻人refusetoworkan80-hourweek...拒绝每周工作80小时justsowecanaffordtobuytheirBMWs...只为了买得起他们生产的宝马汽车whywearenx27;tinterested...inthecounterculture对他们发明的反流行文化不感冒thattheyinvented...asifwedidnotseethemdisemboweltheirrevolution...forapairofrunningshoes.我们只从中看到了他们从这次革命的硕果是一对跑鞋Butthequestionremains...但问题依然存在whatarewegoingtodonow?我们现在要干什么？Howcanwerepairallthedamageweinherited?我们如何能够修复所有这些从上一辈留下来的破坏？Fellowgraduates,我亲爱的毕业生同伴们theanswerissimple.答案很简单Theansweris...答案就是Theansweris...答案是……Idonx27;tknow.我也不知道Goodsave,Lelaina.救得好哦，LelainaIx27;mnotavaledictorian,我不是毕业致辞的优生butIplayoneonTV.但我在电视上演了一个Weallknowyousleptyourwaytothepodium.我们都知道你是一路睡上去领奖台的Myfavoritepartaboutgraduatingnowwouldbe..我最喜欢的毕业的部分是dodgingmystudent-loanofficerfortherestofmylife.以后可以永远躲着学生贷款经理HewillbeincahootswiththeColumbiaRecordandTapeCompanyguy...whox27;sbeenaftermyassforyears.他可以勾搭那个跟在我屁股后边好些年的哥伦比亚唱片公司的家伙TroyDyer,Ibroughtyoubackasouvenir.TroyDyer，我给你带了个纪念品Ah...Youknow,youcanstillgobacknextyearandgraduate...你知道，你明年依然可以回去再毕业一次stillgetyourBF.A.拿一个艺术学士学位Oh,canI?AndthenIcanhangthisonmyrearviewmirror...噢行吗？然后我就可以把这挂在我的后视镜上tobragtoallmygoodbuddiesbackhomethatIgraduated.跟老家那些小伙伴吹嘘炫耀我毕业了Well,Ithroughwiththewholelifedrama.我的人生走向了巅峰Well,Iknowthissoundscornball...我知道听起来有点不知天高地厚butIx27;dliketosomehowmakeadifferenceinpeoplex27;slives.但我真的想在改变人类生活上有一点作为AndI...IwouldliketobuythemallaCoke.我呢，我想给他们每人每一杯可乐Andyouwonderwhywenevergotinvolved.难怪我们从来没有擦出火花Threewords...Novembersixteenthnineteen-ninety...三个字，11月16日，199……Oh,totallydrunk噢，完全是喝醉了、发酒疯andoutofmymind!Itwouldhavebeenapoeticexperience...其实可能是一次诗意的体验ifIwerenx27;tsuchagentleman,whichIam.如果我当时不那么绅士Justletitgo,Dyer.忘了吧，TroySurrenderthefantasy.别做梦了Hey,Sammy,喂，Sammywhatx27;syourgoal?你的目标是什么？Mygoalisto...我的目标是……Likeacareerorsomething.事业上的或者其他的目标都可以Lainie,Ithinkthemomenthasbeenappropriatelycaptured.Lainie，我想你已经很好地捕捉了这些宝贵瞬间了Wouldyoupleasetakeyourfaceoutofthecamera?能否请你放下你的录像机？Comeon.Itx27;sformydocumentary.别这样，这是为了我的纪录片Her...Documentary.她的纪录片Thinkfast.快速思考一下Herex27;sthedeal你看这样行不行.Ix27;mgoingtotakeSamagainsthiswill...andstraightenhimout我计划要将Sam掰直，不管他愿不愿意becauseItrulybelieve...thatifwecangettwowomenontheSupremeCourt...我确信，既然我们能把2个女人送上最高法院wecangetatleastoneonyou,Sam.那我们至少能够给Sam找到一个Ix27;mSuperman.我是超人-Icanfly.我能飞-Shex27;stoast.她要完了Aah!Quick,Vickie.快说，VickieWhatx27;syoursocialsecurity?你的社会保障号是多少？Uh...851-25-9357.Veryimpressive.厉害！Itx27;stheonlythingIreallylearnedincollege.这是我在大学唯一学会的东西SometimesIgetthatquot;notsofreshquot;feeling.有时候，我觉得自己不再年轻Conjunctionjunction,whatx27;syourfunction?HookingupwordsandphrasesandclausesConjunctionjunction,howx27;sthatfunction?Gotthreefavoritecarsthatgetmostofmy...Honey,honey.No,no,no.亲爱的，不不不Isyoursgood?你的好吃吗Itdoesnx27;tseemfresh.吃着不新鲜Ix27;msorry.抱歉Well,Iguessitx27;sabouttime...formetogiveyouyourgraduationpresent,huh?现在，我该送出你的毕业礼物了Your...gascard.你的汽油卡Ix27;llpaythatbillforoneyear.我会支付一年的汽油账单AndsinceHelenAnnex27;sgotherselfabrand-newInfinity...同时，因为HelenAnne买了一辆新的因菲尼迪wex27;regonnagiveyouheroldBMW.所以，她旧的宝马车就归你了Youcanpickitupatourhouse.你待会可以来我们家取车-BMW?BMW?宝马？宝马？-Yeah.是呀Tom,didnx27;tyoulistentoherspeechtoday?Tom，你今天没有听到她的演讲吗？Shedidnx27;twantaBMW.她不想要宝马Mom,Ix27;llhandlethis.妈妈，我来处理Ix27;mnotgonnasithereandlistenagain...tosomestrangeethicalargumentaboutadamncar.我不想坐在这里，再听一次关于一辆车的奇葩道德争论Now,itx27;sgotfourwheels.来，这辆车有四个轮子，走得很好Itrunswell.And,littledarling,afteryoux27;vebeen...intherealworldforawhile...我的小宝贝，当你进入真实世界之后youx27;regonnaappreciatethatcar.你会很感激自己有一辆车Yeah.JustthinkofallthosestarvingchildreninAfrica...whodonx27;tevenhavecars.是呀，想一想那些吃不饱的非洲儿童，他们就没有车Troy,doesyourfathergiveyougiftslikethat?Troy，你的爸爸会送你那样的礼物吗？Mom.妈妈Well,actually,myfatherx27;sdyingofprostatecancer...事实上，我爸爸现在处于癌症晚期soIdonx27;treallytroublehimmuchforgifts.所以我不想因为礼物而去打扰他See,Tom.看看，TomYoudonx27;twantaBMW.你不想要一辆宝马Tellhim,Lelaina.告诉他，LelainaCharlane,shecanmakeupherownmind.Charlane，她能自己做决定Dad,donx27;ttalktoherthatway.爸爸，别这样的语气跟她说话Shex27;snotachild.她不是小孩Well,shemarriedone.她嫁的是What?Allright.Excuseme.你说什么？好，抱歉Comeon,comeon.别这样，别这样Mom,Dad,Ix27;lltaketheBMW...untilIcanaffordtobuyaregularcarmyself,OK?妈妈、爸爸，这辆宝马我要了，等我有能力时我会再买一辆新的，好吗OK,Mom?Please?Mom,please,comeon.妈妈，好不好？拜托了，别这样GetaFord.买福特吧SINGING:JusttofloatontheseaFindmyselfonapageofhistoryYouknow,asIridealongIcanalwayshearthesongaboutyouandwhereyoux27;remeanttobeWell,youx27;regonnatellmetheanswersIx27;llknowwhenyoucomebacktomeIfweshouldfall,lovewillcatchuseverytimeIhearyoucall,IwillrunAndifthemagicoftheadventureovercomesWewonx27;tcry,becauseitcouldbefunWell,Ix27;mgonnatellyoutheanswersYoux27;llknowwhenyoucomebacktomeGonnabeallrightWhenyoucomebacktomeGoodmorning!早安！Goodmorning!早安！Hahahaha!Yes.Goodmorning,早安！ladiesand...gentleman!女士们，还有先生们Iseeagentlemanrightoverthere!我看到一位先生坐在那儿！Goodmorning!早安Goodmorning!早安Boy,Itellyou...告诉你们itisagoodmorningwiththisaudience.今天这是一个好日子Ha!Well,today,forallyoudieters...哈哈，好，今天，给所有节食者带来的福利guiltlessgoodiesfromchefSkinnyNinny.是大厨瘦金妮做的好吃不肥腻的食物Whoa.Mmm!Andwex27;llalsobevisitingwithaman...rightherefromHoustonwhoisbattlingAlzheimerx27;s.以及，我们还会离开休斯顿，去拜访一个与阿尔茨海默病抗争的男人Abeautifulandtouchingstory...ofthetriumphofthehumanspirit.这是一个人类意志胜利的感人美好故事Hex27;ssocheesy,Icanx27;twatchhimwithoutcrackers.真恶心，简直无法直视Nowletx27;stakeapeekinsideourquot;VideoViewquot;...现在先睹为快andseewhatwehaveinstorefortoday.看看今天节目的精华内容Itx27;saspecialreportonchildrenx27;sbirthdaypartythemes...tapedonlocation...at8-year-oldDavyRobbinsx27;party...exclusivelyforourquot;VideoViewquot;collection.这是关于儿童生日会的特别报道拍摄于8岁的DavyRobbin的生日会上，特别为我们节目录制的Hahaha!So...comesitwithme.现在，和我一起坐下来Relax.放松Haveacupofjoe.喝杯咖啡Oh,shit.Oh,shit.糟糕！Well,anyway,itx27;sgonnabeagoodday.Goodmorning!嗯，好吧，今天是个好日子，早安！Youx27;rebeautiful.你真美Wex27;reclear.我们说清楚AmIheretoamuseyou,MissPierce?Pierce小姐，我是来供你取乐的吗？AmIheretomakeyoulaugh?我是来引你发笑的吗？IsthattherealreasonIx27;monthisshow?这就是我主持这档节目的原因？Mr.Gubler,whenIprepareyournotecards...Gubler先生，我给你准备提词纸时youx27;resupposedtogetyourownespresso.你本应自己准备你的咖啡Didnx27;tyougetmyquot;espressyourselfquot;memo?你没看到我留言给你的便签吗？Idonx27;thavetimeforyourlittlemindgames.我没那么多时间玩你的猜谜游戏Ix27;dliketoremindyou...thatwex27;relayingpeopleoffaroundhere.提醒你一句，我们这儿正在削减人手Icanfindaninternwhowilldoyourjobforfreelikethat.我随便就能找到一个免费实习生来接替你的活SINGING:IbeenlockedoutIbeenlockedinButIalwaysseemtocomebackagainAndtheview,whenIlookfrommywindow...Oh,thatx27;samuchbettersize.Thatlooksgreat.ThatwouldgoreallywellwiththeEZ-Fits.So...Oh,buttoningitup.Thatx27;sevenbetter.Yeah,rollx27;emrightup.Itx27;sliberating,isnx27;tit?Iboughtatoothbrush,sometoothpasteAflannelformyfacePajamas,ahairbrushnewshoes,andacaseIsaidtomyreflectionLetx27;sgetoutofthisplacePastthechurchandthesteepleThelaundryonthehillMurder,therex27;sonecommittedeach7seconds.Hello.Igotcutoff.Ix27;msorry.TemptedbythefruitofanotherWaawaaHello?What?你好？什么？Tempted,butthetruthisdiscoveredNo,no,no.不不不Listen,heneedsus,OK?听着，他需要我们，OK？Ifhemakesvideos,weshowthem,OK?他制作片子，我们放映片子，好吗？Itx27;ssymbiotic.Itx27;slikeaquot;chickenortheegg?quot;大家是共生的关系，就像“鸡和鸡蛋”Itx27;sbothofthemworkingtogether.他们两方要一起合作Yeah,uh-huh.Well,letmetellyousomething.好，我跟你说No,no,no.不不不Ix27;mnotscaredof...我不是害怕……Jesus!天哪！Aah!MANONTELEPHONE:Michael,donx27;tlaughatme.Michael，不要取笑我What?什么？No,Ix27;minanaccident.不，我遇到意外了Igotinanaccident.我出车祸了Yeah,Ix27;mfine.不，我没事No.Ix27;llcallyouback,allright?不，我待会打给你，好吗Ix27;mgonnacallyou...我会打给你Whenyousaidyouwouldsue...你刚说你会起诉……Well,itx27;snotreallymyidea.那不是我的主意Itx27;sjustIgotmylawyerguytellingme,youknow...只是我的律师跟我说的something,like,aboutmyratesor...这跟纳税有关Right.Youmean,likesueinacourtroomformoney?对。你是说，要上法庭去起诉索偿？Idonx27;tevenknow...我也不知道becauseIx27;veneverreallydoneanythinglikethisbefore.我也没遇过这种事情Imean,doyouhavealawyerorsomething?你有没有律师吗？No,Idonx27;thavealawyer.不，我没有律师Idonx27;thaveadentist.我连牙医都没有Ix27;m...Youknow,Imakefour-hundreddollarsaweek.我，我每周的周薪只有400块Whatdoyoudo?你是做什么的？Well,atthemoment,Ix27;mworking...现在，我在做……Ix27;msorry.抱歉Ijust...Igotto...Hello.我要……你好Yeah.Whatisit?是的，什么事？Youknow,Idonx27;tcare...你知道，我不在乎……ifshedoestwelvebooksofherselfnaked,OK?她出了12本裸体写真集，好吗？Itdoesnx27;t...不是……Thatx27;sDr.Zaius那是Zaius博士，《人猿星球》里面的fromquot;PlanetoftheApes.quot;Oh.哦Ix27;msorry.No.抱歉，不Someoneelseisinhere.有人在这儿Yeah?Well,lethersaythattome.是吗？那好，让她自己来跟我说-No,donx27;tdothat.不，别那样-Oh,Ix27;msorry.Ix27;msorry.噢，抱歉，抱歉No,no.Youcan...不不，你可以……Thatx27;sallright...没关系Iwas...Goahead.我只是……没事Youwanttotouchit?你想碰他吗？Itx27;sallright.没事Yeah.No,goahead.是，不，请便No,Iwastalkingto...不，我是在跟她说……Look,canItalktoyoulater?这样，我待会打给你好吗？Canwe...When?OK.OK.我们能否……几时？好，好Um...OK.Um...uh...Youknowwhat?这样吧Justforgetit.忘了这件事Really,justforgetthewholething...这件事就一笔勾销吧becauseitwasprobablymyfaultanyway.因为这件事很可能会判是我的错AndIx27;llgetintrouble,anditjustdoesnx27;t...然后我会惹上麻烦……Andyouseemverysweet.你长得也很甜美AndyouseemtolikeDr.Zaius.你貌似也很喜欢Zaius博士Oh.Haha.-Oh,no.-Thatx27;s...Ix27;msorry.抱歉Thatx27;s...Hewasjustacollectorx27;s...Nobig...他，他只是一个收藏家的……没关……Well,wecan...-Youknowwhat?这样吧-No,herex27;shishead.不，这是他的头Itx27;sreally...youknow...Ithinkhex27;sgone.我想他已经不行了……Ix27;m,like,ruiningyourwholelifehere.我，我好像毁掉了你的生活No,no,youx27;renot.Really.不不，你没有，真的Justdonx27;t...Justdonx27;ttouchanythingelse...andIthinkwex27;llbefine.只是，不要再碰其他东西就好……MichaelGrates,vicepresidentregionalprogramming...quot;InYourFacequot;TV.MichaelGrates，区域制片，副总裁，quot;InYourFacequot;电视台Wex27;veseenit.我们看过Itx27;slikeMTV,butwithanedge.跟MTV差不多，但更犀利一点-Yeah.So,isitadate?所以，是约会吗？-Yeah,yeah.是，是-Dinner?晚餐？-Coffee.咖啡-Coffeeorcappuccino?咖啡还是卡布奇诺？-Heendedupsayingdecaf.他说的是脱因咖啡Oh,no.Earlynight.噢不，傍晚Isthereanyprecoffeeactivity?有什么喝咖啡前可以做的活动吗？Um...Idonx27;tthinkso.我不知道Didheaskyoutogooutortohangout?他约你时说的是“出来玩一下”还是“出来见一下”Goout.Hedefinitelysaidgoout.出来玩。他肯定说的是这个词Hey.Howareyoudoing?嗨，你怎样了？-Oh,shit.我擦-What?Iforgottotellyousomething.我忘了跟你说了Areyououtofyourmind?你疯了吗Oh,mygod.Lainie,hejustgotfiredfromthenewsstand.天哪，Lainie，他刚刚才被报摊炒鱿鱼了Heneedsaplacetostaytillhecanfindanewjob...andgethisownplace.他需要一个地方落脚，直到他找到新工作，还有新的住处Vickie,thatx27;stheAmericandreamofthenineties.Vckie，这是90年代的美国梦Thatcouldtakeyears.要等好多年才能实现Lookatitlikeabuilt-insecuritysystem.把他当成是内嵌的安保系统Wex27;llhaveamanaroundthehouse.房子里有个男人挺好的Wex27;llhaveahallmonitor.我们会多了一个厅长Thatx27;swhatwex27;llhave.我们只会有厅长Idonx27;tevenknowifthisisallowedinthebuilding.我甚至不知道在这栋楼里是否被允许这样做Itx27;snotlikeMr.Roperx27;sgonnaburstin.房东太太又不会跑来看Ix27;lljuststayonthecouch.我睡在沙发上就行Vickie,hewillturnthisplace...intoadenofslack.Vickie，他会把房子弄得乌烟瘴气的Whatthehellisyourproblem?你到底是有什么问题？Ihavetoworkaroundhere,我要工作andunfortunately,Troy...而你呢youareamasterattheartoftimesuckage.你是浪费时间的大师Oh,well,Ix27;msorry,misspostergirlfortheworkersparty...噢，好，抱歉，劳动党的封面女郎butuntilIgetthattoeholdintheburgerindustry...在我在汉堡业界站稳脚之前Igotalittletimetosuck.我还有一点时间可以浪费Ix27;drathercheckintoashelterthandealwithhershit.我宁愿去收容所都好过跟她共处Iknowhowmuchyoulovetomainlineinmiseryhere.我知道你就是喜欢自我沉溺在痛苦中Butyoudonx27;thaveto.但你不需要这样Icangetyouajobinterviewatmydadx27;splant.我可以帮你联系去我爸爸的工厂去面试Whatisthat?那是什么？Partofmyleaseagreement?我住在这里的租约的一个条款？Itx27;seitherthatoracreditcheck.你也可以说是一个信用检查Itx27;scool,Troy.太好了，TroyYoucanstay.你可以住在这里啦Welcometothemaxipad.卫生巾欢迎你Yeah,withthenewdry-weave...对呀，还有最新的干织技术……itactuallypullsmoistureawayfromyou.Itx27;sgood.它真的能帮你把湿气吸走，挺好的Youwonx27;tevenknowIx27;mhere.你不会察觉到我在这里ShouldIgetmarried?我要不要结婚？ShouldIbegood?我要不要当好人？ShouldIastoundthegirlnextdoorwithmyvelvetsuitandmyFaustushood?我要不要穿上天鹅绒西装和浮士德头罩去吓唬邻居的女孩？Andnottakehertomoviesbuttocemeteriesandtellherofwerewolftonguesandforkedclarinets?带她去墓地而不是去影院，和她说起狼人传说和开叉单簧管？Whatquot;Hey,Thatx27;sMyBikequot;...wouldliketodoeventually.asaband...istravelthecountrysidelikeWoodyGuthrie.OrRichardSimmons.Youknowhow,inhiscommercials...howhetravelsaround,surprisespeoplejogging.Asyoucansee,Ihavetheoccasionalrun-in...withananti-quot;Hey,Thatx27;sMyBiker.quot;Andtothosepeople,Isaynobody...Nobodycaneatfiftyeggs.-Lainie?-Whatie?啥？Thenexttimeyoumakemicrowavebrownies...下次你再做微波炉布朗尼时Ix27;dreallyconsiderusingamicrowave.我有认真在考虑用微波炉Itx27;sjustathought.只是一个想法Youknow,你知道吗Ifinallyfiguredout...whatyourproblemis,Dyer.我终于发现你的问题所在了，DyerWhatx27;sthat?是什么？Ix27;mnotaPepper?我不是Pepper？Yousufferfromthephilosophergroupiesyndrome.你患了哲学家狂热综合征Youx27;rethisguywith,like,a180I.Q...你这人，有180的IQtenunitsawayfromadegreeinphilosophy...只差一点就能拿到哲学学位andyoualwaysfallforthesedumbgroupietypes.但你老是迷恋那些无知的骨肉皮小妞Now...theyarenotalldumb.她们并不都是无知Mostofthemarejustvery,verydepressed.她们中的大多数只是非常、非常沮丧Doyoufindmeattractive,你觉得我有吸引力吗sittinghere,eatingbrownies?坐着这里，吃着布朗尼Youdo.Youx27;restrangelyattractedtomerightnow.我现在觉得你有一种奇怪的吸引力Youx27;reoddly,oddlyattractedtome.一种很奇怪、很奇妙的吸引力Itturnsyouon,doesnx27;tit?你现在性奋了？Youliketowatch,donx27;tyou?你喜欢观察，是不是？Comeon.别这样Comeon!Aah!别这样啊Here.Hahaha!过来，哈哈Donx27;t!Comeon.不，别这样Itx27;snotfunny.Giveitback.一点都不好玩，还我-Givewhatback?还什么？-Giveitback!还给我！Givewhatback?还什么？Givethebrowniesback?还你布朗尼？-Aah!啊-Brownies,brownies.布朗尼，布朗尼Oh,Ilovebrownies.噢，我爱布朗尼Mynamex27;sLelaina.我的名字叫LelainaHey,donx27;t!别！Hey,watchthecamera.来，看着摄像机Donx27;tthrowitatme.别对着我Thatx27;snotnice.这样不好Mr.Gubler,doyouhavetimetotakealook...atwhatIx27;vedonehere?Gubler先生，你有没有时间可以看看我的作品？Ineedmyquestions.我要我的问题卡Oh,well,herex27;stheresearchthatIdid.噢，好，这些是我搜集的资料Youmightwanttoreadit...becausethisguesthasquiteahistoryinpolitics.你要不看一下……因为这位嘉宾在政治上很有声望Justgivememyquestions.给我问题卡Excusez-moi.抱歉-Youallalone?你独自一人？-Notanymore.再也不是了IfIcouldbottlethesexualtension...如果我能将BonnieFranklin和Schneider之间的性张力betweenBonnieFranklinandSchneider...收到一个瓶子里Icouldsolvetheenergycrisis.我就能解决能源危机Excuseme.抱歉Donx27;tbogartthatcan...man.这名男子，请别那么粗暴对待那只罐子-Areyouretarded?你是弱智吗？-No.Ix27;mrhyming.不，我只是为了押韵Itx27;snoteasy.不容易Sure,Imakeitlookeasy.好吧，我能让它看着很容易Youguysbetternotbeinhaling.你们这些家伙最好别Hi.Lelaina,VickiewasjustpromotedtomanageroftheGap.Lelaina，Vickie被提升为Gap的经理了-Shutup.闭嘴-Itx27;snotevenabigdeal.这没啥了不起的Theoldmanagertriedtokillherself...byeatingawholepotofpoinsettias.原来的经理自杀了……通过吃一整盆圣诞花Still,Ix27;msoproudofyou.我还是很为你自豪Wait.等等Ix27;llbemakingfour-hundreddollarsaweek,though.以后我的周薪会涨到400块Wex27;renevergonnahaverentproblemsagain.我们再也不用为房租发愁了Troy,arenx27;tyouexcited?Troy，你不兴奋吗？Ix27;mburstingwithfruitflavor.我兴奋得都爆发出水果味了Youguys,Ijustthoughtofsomething.伙伴们，我突然想起一件事Ix27;mmanageroftheGap.我是Gap的经理Ix27;mresponsibleforallthoset-shirts...我要为所有T恤负责任French-cut,v-necked,ribbed,whathaveyou.法式剪裁、V领、罗纹、诸如此类Dude,Ix27;mintrouble.伙伴们，我麻烦大了No,youx27;renot,Vick.不，你不会，VickIknowyoucandoit.我知道你可以的Ijustdonotunderstandwhythismoment...hastobeMemorexed.我只是不明白为啥要拍下这一刻Sammy,donx27;tyourealize?Sammy，你没发现吗？Thisisyouroneopportunitytoplayasmallpart...这是你唯一的机会inwhatisdestinedtobegreatness.能在这个注定成为巨作的作品中扮演一个小角色Lainiehereisgonnarevolutionize...Lainie将会变革quot;GoodMorning,Grant.quot;“早安，格兰特”Oh,mygod!Ix27;msosorry!我的天！我真是有眼不识泰山Ihadnoidea!我没想到这一点Lookwhox27;smocking.看谁有资格嘲弄别人Allyoudoaroundhere,Troy...iseatandcouchTroy你在这里，每天做的就是吃、睡、andfondletheremotecontrol.以及摸着遥控器舍不得放下Iamnotunderanyorderstomaketheworldabetterplace.没有任何命令要我去改善这个世界Well,thenwhatgoodareyou?好呀，那你有什么用？Youx27;reapathologicaloptimist.你是一个病态的乐观主义者Youx27;repathological.你有病Oh,wouldyoutwojustdoitandgetitoverwith?噢，你俩能不能赶紧搞在一起？Ix27;mstarving.我饿死了Oh!Hello.Youx27;vereachedthewinterofourdiscontent.你好，你现在拨进了我们极度不满的时刻Uh...holdon.嗯，等一下Itx27;ssomeMichaelcharacter.有个叫Michael的人Oh.-Whox27;sMichael?谁是Michael？-Letx27;sorderapizza.我们叫比萨吧Lelaina,ifwepromisetopayyouback...Lelaina，如果我们保证一定会还你钱willyouspotusapizza?你能不能给我们买个比萨？Donx27;thaveanycash.我没现金Dominoestakeschecks.Dominoes可以接受支票OK,great.好呀OK.Bye.再见TheownerofDominoessupportsOperationRescue.Dominoes的店主捐助了拯救会Oh,please.Noonegivesashitrightnow.现在没人关心这个事情Wex27;restarving.我们饿疯了Oh,wait.Wait.等一下-Ta-da!-Wex27;regoingtoeatgas.我们要喝汽油了Ah!Whox27;sthisMichaelguy?那个叫Michael的家伙是谁？Um...Hey.Vickiejustfiguredsomethingout.Vickie刚刚有个发现-What?什么？-Somethingwonderful.一个奇妙的发现Hahaha!Evianisnaïvespelledbackwards.哈哈哈，“依云”（Evian）倒过来拼写是“天真”（naive）Uh!Couldyouturnthisup,please?你能把音量调高点吗？Please?拜托了Youwonx27;tbesorry.你不会后悔的Thankyou.感谢RADIO:...Whenyougonnagivemesometime,Sharona?Ooh,youmakemymotorrun,mymotorrunGunitcominx27;offoftheline,SharonaNevergonnastop,giveitup,suchadirtymindAlwaysgetitupforthetouchoftheyoungerkindMy,my,my,i,yi,woo!Hey!M-m-mySharona.Comealittlecloser,huh?Ah,willya,huh?Closeenoughtolookinmyeyes,SharonaKeepingitamystery,itgetstomeRunningdownthelengthofmythighs,Sharona...Goodtimes,anytimeyouneedthem,babyGoodtimes,ainx27;tnotimetobeafraidThelmax27;shusbandKeithhasgotvodkahiddeninthetoilet.Vodkainthetoilet.Thatx27;sagoodone.Um...boomboom.JamesDice.Thatx27;satwo-parter,man.Youcanx27;tdothat.J.J.worksinthechickenshop.Heworksinachickenshop.Wedidthat.Itx27;sthesameonewhenhehasthatcapeon.Drinkup,man.Youhatetoseethathappentotherookie.Um...AldermanDavisjudgesa...Oh,mygod.天哪Hi.嗨Areyouacollectionagent?你是卖保险的吗？Lelaina!Lelaina！Oh!Yeah,Ix27;llberightthere.好，我来啦Oh.Ifyouainx27;tthemosthardheadedwoman...如果你不是最精明的女人……Great!棒！Hurryup,hurryup,hurryup.快点，快点，快点Oh,itx27;sme!是我！Willonadatesadeafguy.Willona跟一个聋子约会-Goodone.厉害-Willonadatesadeafguy.Willona跟一个聋子约会HowabouttheonewhenGaryColemancomeson...GaryColeman演过的那个andhex27;slikethelittle...like,guydoingthat...他就像那个……-Yeah,wedidthatone.对，我们做过一次-Hewascute,though.他还挺可爱的-J.J.x27;spromdate.J.J.的毕业舞会约会-Gottago.Gottago.要走了，要走了-Hey.Hi.Hello.Hi.-Hi.Um...everybody,thisisMichael.大家，这是MichaelThisis...这是……Promdate.Promdate.Go.毕业舞会约会，走Youknow,weshould..我们应该……Weshould...Yeah.是，我们应该……So,Ix27;mgonnago.我走啦Bye.再见Michaelthrowsaparty.Michael办了个排队Sammy,letx27;sgo.Sammy，走吧Lelaina,youknowthepunishmentforprematureevacuation.Lelaina，你知道提前撤退的惩罚Penny!WillonaadoptsPenny!Penny！Willona收养了Penny！Shit!Ix27;mmakingthisdocumentary...aboutmyfriends,我在拍一部关于我的朋友们的纪录片butitx27;sreallyabout...peoplewhoaretryingtofindtheirownidentity...但它其实是关于那些正在寻找自己的身份认同的人withouthavinganyrealrolemodelsorheroesoranything.他们没有模范或英雄可以看齐Wow.That...Thatsoundsgreat.哇，听起来很棒Itseemslikeyourfriendswouldbeperfectforthat.你的朋友们应该很适合这个题材Like,um...就像LikethatguyTroy...比如那个叫Troy的家伙-Troy,yeah.他是的-Youalldonehere,sir?先生，您还吃吗？Uh,yeah.yeah.对Youdonx27;twanttofinishthat?你不吃完吗？BecauseIcan..因为我可以…….No,no,no.Ix27;mfine.不不不，我够了Ihadalate...我下午吃了……So,Troyis...所以，Troy是……Youguysjust...你们是……Itx27;slikeyouguyslivingthere,你们一起住吗justthetwoofyou?只有你们俩？No,no,no,no,no.不不不不Itx27;smeandVickie,只有我跟Vickiebuthegotfiredfromhisjob...但他被解雇了andsoheneededaplacetocrashforacoupleweeks.所以这几周他需要一个地方来过度一下TheycaughthimstealingaSnickers.他被抓包偷了一条士力架HestoleaSnickersbar?他偷了一条士力架？Yeah.Hahaha!对，哈哈哈Somehowhecanrationalizeit...但不知怎地，他能将之合理化liketheestablishmentoweshimaSnickers.说的好像公司欠他一条士力架Right,right.对，对Well,Imean...我的意思是……Iguess...youknow...我猜……Youknow,youx27;reverybeautiful.你知道吗，你非常美丽Imean...Imean,um...我的意思是……Seriously,youx27;re..真的，你真的很美丽.Ix27;m,uh...Ix27;m,uh...notreallygoodwithcompliments.我……嗯……我不是很会处理赞美Um...but,uh...Um...Haha!Areyoureligious?你信教吗？Um...Hahaha!哈哈哈Hahaha!哈哈哈Ix27;msorry.抱歉IguessIx27;m...我觉得我是……IguessIx27;m,uh...anon-practicingJew.我是一个不太虔诚的犹太人Hey,Ix27;manon-practicingvirgin.嘿，我是一个不太虔诚的处女Whox27;sthisagain?这是谁？Frampton.PeterFrampton.PeterFramptonFrampton...Icanx27;tbelieveyoudonx27;tremember...我不敢相信你居然不记得quot;FramptonComesAlive.quot;“FramptonComeAlive”Thatalbum,like,totallychangedmylife.这张专辑简直改变了我的人生Themostprofound,importantinventionofmylifetime...我生命中最伟大、最重要的发明theBigGulp.特大杯可乐Andbecause,see...因为，看……No,listen.不，听着Yougetoneinthemorning.你早上喝一杯Ix27;mtalkingforty-fourouncer,我说的是44盎司notthisthirty-twowimpy...不是这杯只有32……-Waitaminute.Fortyfour?等一下，42？-Yeah.Forty-fourounce.对，42盎司Howcanyouingestforty-fourouncesofanything?你怎么可能喝得下42盎司的东西？Howcanyouingestforty-fourouncesofanything?你怎么可能喝得下42盎司的东西？Yougetone.你喝一杯Youhaveyouressentialvitaminsandnutrients...fortheentireday.就能拥有一整天的必需的维他命和营养Oh,yeah.Definitely.是的，绝对Ix27;msureyoux27;retotallycovered.我肯定你绝对可以-Youdo.你可以-Well...Iguessitreallydoesnx27;ttakemuchtomakemehappy.我觉得，我很容易就能够感到幸福Hey,Ix27;mnotmaterialistic,either.喂，我也不是拜金主义的Imean,IthinkIx27;dbeworkingevenifIwasnx27;tgettingpaid.我是说，我觉得就算没有薪水我也会继续工作AndIdonx27;t,like,wanttoget,我也不是youknow...abighouse.想要一间大房子Ijustwant,like,anicehouse.我只想要一间温馨的房子Ix27;mnotintocarsandstuff.我并不迷恋车子之类的Imean,Ilikemycar.我喜欢我的车Youx27;reprobablynotreallynotinto,like...你大概并不迷恋expensive,snazzyItaliansuits,either.昂贵的、华丽丽的意大利套装-Oh,comeon.别这样-Ix27;mjustkidding.我只是开玩笑-No,no,no.不不不-Ix27;mjustkidding.我只是开玩笑Waitaminute.等一下Ix27;mnotlikethat.我不是那样的Ix27;mreallynot.真的不是Imean...Imean...Ix27;m...Ix27;m...Imean...我的意思是……Iknowwhythecagedbirdsingsandeverything.我知道为啥笼中鸟会唱歌之类的东西Oh,yeah?Why?是吗?为啥？Becausehewas...inacage,因为，它……在一个笼子里andhewas...Idonx27;tknow.我不知道Hehadhighhopesorsomething.它有很远大的愿望之类的OK,Idroppedoutofschool...beforewegottothat,allright?好吧，在我还没学到这个知识前我就辍学了Ishouldhavestayedincollege...andgotadegreeinastronomyorsomething.我当初应该留在大学里拿个学位，在天文学之类的-Oh,god,Iloveastronomy.天哪，我爱天文学-Really?真的吗？Yeah.Ijust...Themath,though.是呀，不过我的数学……Itwasthemaththatjust,like...gotmeeverytime.我的数学学不好Ilovedastronomy,too,我也很喜欢天文学andIgotintoclass...我去上了课anditwaslike...itwaslike...everythingwasthree-squaredtimespiequalstherootofpi.所有的东西都好像是三次方乘以π等于π的方根Yeah.AndIjustwantedtolookatthestars.是呀，但我只想看看星星-Itwasso...-Samehereexactly.我也是Irememberbeingsohappyontheroofofouroldhouse...我记得，在我家的老房子的屋顶juststaringupatthestars.看着星星就非常快乐Mmm...Iwanttodothatagain.好想再像当时一样Iwanttojust...lookupatthestars我只想抬头看看星星andtakethetimeto...smellthe...everything.闻一闻……Becauseitx27;slike...doyoueverhavethosemomentsinlife...因为那就像……你是否有过那样的时刻whereeverythingisOK?觉得所有事情都很好？DoyouknowwhatImean?你懂我的意思吗？Justfor,like,onemoment,everythingisgreat.所有事情都很好的一个瞬间NotsinceIgraduated,no.不，毕业之后都没有过了Butyeah...yeah.Whenyou,like,catchyourselfinamoment...当你发现自己处于那样的时刻andyoux27;resaying,wait,Ix27;mhappyhereinthemoment.你会发现，咦，我这一刻很快乐Right.Andthenitjustgoesawayreallyquickly.对，然后这一刻就会很快消失-Gone.不见了-Itjust...Itx27;s...IknowIx27;vehadacoupleofthose,youknow.我知道我有过不少那样的瞬间Ialwaysforgetthem,我总是会记不得butIknowIx27;vehadthem.但我知道我拥有过Oh,me,too.噢，我也是Likerightnow...isone.像现在Yeah...likenow.是的，像现在SINGING:CloudsarestalkingIslandsinthesunWishIcoulddryoneOutofseasonButdonx27;tHesitatex27;CauseyourloveWonx27;twaitHey,hey,heyOoh,baby,IloveyourwayEverydayWanttotellyouIloveyourwayOoh,ooh,oohTROY,Ooh,baby,IloveyourwayEverydayIwanttobewithyounightanddayShh!So,youx27;vebeenupallnight?所以你一整晚都没睡吗？Iampickingupsomeverystrangevibesinhere.我在这里感受到一些非常奇怪的气氛Theyx27;reofthe...quot;Ijustgotlaidquot;variety.这感觉就像是……“我刚和人睡了”的气氛Didhedazzleyou...withhisextensiveknowledgeofmineralwater?他是不是用他丰富的矿泉水知识令你倾倒Orwasithisin-depthanalysisofMarkieMark...thatfinallyreeledyouin?或者是他对MarkieMark的深度分析把你绕进去了？Ijustwouldhavelikedtohavebeenthere...我真希望能够在场towatchhowyourationalized...看看你怎样为自己找到合理的借口跟一个蹩脚的雅痞第一次约会就搞在一起了sleepingwithayuppy-headcheeseballonthefirstdate.Hex27;snotayuppy.他不是雅痞Hex27;sthereasonwhyCliffNoteswereinvented.他就是那些经典文摘的买单者Well,thatpalesincomparison...tothetweaked-outlittleskanksyoudate.那也总比你约会的那些恶心的火柴妞要好得多Tohellwithit.见鬼去吧WhatdoIcare?我在乎什么？Whatdoyoucare?你在乎什么？Andwhyareyouacting...likeajealousboyfriendallofasudden?你为啥突然像个好妒的男朋友在发作？Iamnotactinglikeanything.我没有在发作Iamcalmlyreading.我在很冷静地阅读God.Ifsomethingx27;sbotheringyouthatmuch...如果有什么事情让你这么困扰Iwishyoucouldjustbemanenoughtotalktomeaboutit.我希望你能像个男人一样跟我说说Allright,Lelaina.好吧，LelainaIamreallyinlovewithyou.我爱上你了Isthatwhatyouwanttohear?这是你想听到的吗？Isit?是吗？Well,donx27;tflatteryourself.别自作多情了Gotohell.去死吧SinceIx27;vebeenmanagerhere...自从我当上了经理ourgrosshasincreasedovertwentypercent.这里的总收入提升了超过20%So...所以……What?什么？OK.OK.Um...好啦IguessIx27;mproudofthat.我觉得我为此感到自豪Oh,please.别这样Lookatthissweater.看看这件毛衣Peopledonx27;tknow.人们不知道Theydonx27;tknowwhatittakes.人们不知道折成这样需要多少工夫Ix27;veneverbeenagoodexamplebefore...我以前从来都折不好and,um...Ix27;veneverbeengoodwithresponsibility.我也从来都不能承担责任So,uh...Iblamemyparents,though.但我责怪我父母IthinkIwasconceivedonanacidtrip.我想我爸妈是磕了药后乱搞怀上我的MyparentsgotdivorcedwhenIwas5yearsold.他们在我5岁时就离婚了AndIsawmyfatheraboutthreetimesayearafterthat.自那以后我每三年才见到我父亲一次Andwhenhefoundoutthathehadcancer...当他发现自己得了癌症之后hedecidedtobringmehere..他带我来到这里.andhegivesmethisbigpinkseashell...给了我这个巨大的粉红色贝壳andhesaystome...他跟我说quot;Son,theanswersareallinsideofthis.quot;所有的答案都在这里面AndIx27;mall,like,quot;What?quot;我就懵逼了ButthenIrealizedthattheshellwasempty.但后来我发现这个贝壳是空的Therex27;snopointtoanyofthis.什么意义都没有Itx27;salljusta...Arandomlotteryofmeaninglesstragedy...生命只是一次随机抽签andaseriesofnearescapes.它由一次毫无意义的悲剧的以及一系列的幸免于难组成SoItakepleasureinthedetails,youknow.所以我从琐事中得到快感AQuarter-Pounderwithcheese.一块四分一磅的芝士Thosearegood.很好Theskyabout...tenminutesbeforeitstartstorain.下雨前10分钟的天空Themomentwhereyourlaughterbecomesacackle.笑声变成咯咯尖笑的瞬间AndIsitback,andI...IsmokemyCamelstraights.我坐下，抽一根骆驼烟AndIridemyownmelt.我自由自在Comeon.Comeon.来吧，来吧Nolagging.别落下了ThefreeclinicA.I.D.S.test.免费的艾滋病测试Theriteofpassageforourgeneration.我们这一代人的重要仪式Wex27;resolucky.我们真幸运Comeon.So,Vick,whyareyougettingtested?Vick，你为啥要来做测试？Oneofmyfriendstestedpositive.我的一个朋友被测出阳性Tobeonthesafeside...youknow.安全起见VickieMiner.WOMAN,LOUDER:VickieMiner.Youcanforgetit.你能忘了它Comeon,Grant.别这样，GrantThat...Itx27;sincredible.真了不起Itx27;sjunk.垃圾Depressingjunk.不知所谓的垃圾Youknowmyrulesforthequot;VideoViewquot;...你知道我对“VideoView”节目的规矩lightandperky.轻快和活泼Look,Lelaina,maybeIshouldtalktoGrantaloneaboutthis.看，Lelaina，也许我应该单独跟Grant沟通一下这事儿Look,shex27;sgotrealtalent...她真的很有才华andIwanttoputheronstaff.我想给她转正IwillnothaveMissPierceonstaff.我不会让她转为正式员工Iwillwalkoutofhereifthathappens.如果她转正，我马上就离开这里Youwatch.试试看OK,calmdown.好，冷静一下Itx27;snobigdeal.不要紧Wedonx27;thavetohaveher.我们不是一定要有她Besides,还有havingtolook...atthatgirlx27;spointylittlefaceallday...整天看着那女孩的小尖脸itwouldmakemeill.真让我受不了Justgetridofher...likeIaskedyoutodointhefirstplace.让她走，就像我一开始跟你说的一样...Ix27;llgetthere.我会的IfIdonx27;tknowwheretogo,Ix27;llgetthere.如果我不知道去哪儿，我回去那儿IfIdonx27;tknow...如果我不知道……Tenseconds...10秒nine,eight,seven...six,five,four...九，八，七，六，五，四……Isthisagoodmorningorwhat?真是个愉快的早上Hahaha!Well,withustodayisLibbyKumbaugh...哈哈哈！今天来到这里的是LibbyKumbaughtheauthorofthisbook...quot;Mommy,WhyDoIHateMyself?quot;Self-EsteemforParentandChild.quot;她是《妈妈，我为什么讨厌自己？父母和孩子的自尊》的作者-Goodmorning,Libby.早上好，Libby-Goodmorning,Grant.早上好，GrantGoodmorning!Now,Libby...早上好！LibbyIx27;mconcernedwithself-esteem.我很担心自尊Personally,Ix27;vealwayshadanoddpreference...forvery,veryyounggirls.就我个人而言，我总对那些特别年轻的女孩有种奇怪的偏好I...我Beingatotalprick...身为一个贱人……...Iypear,I...Whydonx27;twewelcomethisaudienceagain,huh?我们再一次欢迎今天的来宾？Goodmorning!早安！ImakemoreofamessthanRubydoes.我比Ruby惹的锅更大Hi.Youguys,wehavetohaveafamilymeeting.大伙儿，我们来开个家庭会议吧Somethingx27;shappened.有事发生Oh,no!Theyx27;vediscoveredNutrasweetcausesyou...togrowathirdeye.噢不！他们刚发现了阿斯巴甜能让你长出第三只眼Letmejustsaythateverythingx27;sgonnabefine.所有事情都会好的Yeah,itx27;snotabigdeal.没那么大件事Shex27;lljustwearapatchoverit.她可以戴个眼罩遮住它Ix27;mworkingoutaplan.我在制定一个计划Yeah,therex27;sasurgeoninParis.巴黎有一个外科医生Hex27;lljustremoveitforfree.他能免费帮忙割除-Justdonx27;tpanic.别慌张-Itx27;snotcontagious.不会传染的Wouldyoushutup?你能闭嘴吗？Ijustgotfired.我刚被炒鱿鱼了Yeah.Oh,mygod.我的天哪Whathappened?发生什么事？Yougotfired?你被炒了？Imean,thatjustscrewsupmywholeideaofgoodandevil.这件事彻底摧毁了我对善与恶的判断Itx27;snotlikeIhadahysterectomyoranything.这不是我做了子宫切除手术之类的Ijust...Igotfired.Ix27;llfindsomethingelse,youknow.我只是被炒了。我会找到其他工作的Oh,oh,oh,oh,oh!Youx27;rehired.你被聘用了！Ineedapart-timer.我需要一个兼职Youneedajob.你需要一份工作Thatwouldbesocool.真是太好了Itx27;sonly,like,fivedollarsanhour.Nobigdeal.虽然只有5块钱的时薪，不多Butitx27;saprettygoodopportunity.但这是一次很好的机会Yeah,itx27;sadreamcometrue.对啊，是梦想成真的机会Itis.是的Youknow,Vick,IsaidIx27;mworkingoutaplan.Vick，我说我在制定一个计划Yeah.是的So,whatx27;stheplan?所以这个计划是什么？Ix27;mnotgonnaworkattheGap,forChristx27;ssake.OK?天哪，我不要在Gap工作，好吗？-No.Imean...不，我的意思是……-Oh,no.Ix27;msosorry.噢，我很抱歉Oh,howstupidofmetotrytodragyoudowntomylevel.我真愚蠢，怎么能把你拉低到我的层次-Vickie,youdonx27;tdothis,OK?Vick，你不能这样说话，好吗？-Shutup.闭嘴Comeon.Thisisjust...别这样YouknowIdidnx27;tmeanit.你知道我不是那个意思Vickie.Yousee,thisiswhereTroywasfired...你看，这里就是Troy第11次被解雇的地方fromhiseleventhjob.Hewasanillustriousofficecleaner.他是一名卓越的办公室清洁工Nowifyoux27;llcomethisway,please...如果你走这里wewillcontinueourshortbuthappywalkingtour...ofthecareerofTroyDyer.我们将继续回顾TroyDyer短暂而快乐的职业生涯Andherewehavethenewsstand...我们来到的这个报摊whereTroydaredtoaskthequestion...在这里Troy勇敢地提出一个问题Areemployeesnackssubsidized?会不会提供雇员的零食？Theanswer...tragically,no.很不幸地，答案是不Intotal,hehasbeenfired...from...yes,countthem...twelvejobs.他总共被炒了12次鱿鱼Twelve?Ouch.12次？哇Soyoushouldnx27;tfeelsobad.所以你不需要感到糟糕Oneofthesemornings,Ix27;mgoingtowakeupbeforenoonand...未来的某一天，我在中午前睡醒过来Haha.Yeah,right.哈哈，对AndIx27;mgonnaturnontheTV...我打开电视andthereBryantGumbelwillbe,andhex27;llsay...看到BryantGumbel主播说quot;Todaywehavewithus...今天我们请来quot;thePulitzerPrizewinning普利策奖纪录片得主LelainaPiercedocumentarianLelainaPierce.quot;Lelaina,afteryourfirstfilm,Lelaina，在你的第一部片子“为什么芭比很坏”之后WhyBarbieIsBad...quot;quot;Youseemtohaveforgottenallabout...quot;yourbestfriend,TroyDyer.quot;你似乎已经遗忘了你最好的朋友，TroyDyerTroywho?谁？Whatwasthatnameagain?名字是什么？Oh,rightthroughtheheart.噢，想起来了Ix27;llprobablybeworkingattheWholeFoods...我可能会在WholeFoods超市工作playingwarehouses...在仓库里无所事事hangingaroundplacesliketheRadioShack...在无线电公司附近随处游荡screamingthatIusedtoknowyou...尖叫着我以前认识你andyoux27;llbethereinthelights...而你会坐在聚光灯下andyoux27;llbeallbeautifulandshit.看起来那么美丽Oh,Troy.No,no,no.Troy，不不不Thatx27;llneverhappen.这永远不会发生TheywouldneverhireyouatWholeFoods.WholeFoods根本不会雇用你Yousee,Lainie,你看，Lainiethisisallweneed...这就是我们需要的acoupleofsmokes,抽几根烟acupofcoffee...喝杯咖啡Andalittlebitofconversation.闲聊几句Youandmeandfivebucks.你，我，不需要太多的钱Yougotit.对呀-Youknowwhat?你知道吗？-Hmm?-No,no,no.不不不-What?Troy,Icanx27;t.Icanx27;t.Troy，我不能那样做Whynot?为什么不行？Youneverthoughtaboutit?你从来没想过这样吗？Well,yes,ofcourseIhave,butI...我当然有想过，但我……Butwhat?但是什么？Icanx27;tnotbefriendswithyou,OK?我不想失去你这个朋友，好吗？Idonx27;twantthat.Thatx27;snotwhatIx27;mtalkingabout.我不想那样，这不是我说的意思Ix27;mtalkingabouta...我的意思是……youknow,evolving.进一步发展Ijustcanx27;thandlethisrightnow.我现在没法处理这件事Icanx27;tevolverightnow.我现在没法和你进一步发展Whynot?为什么不？BecauseofMichael?因为Michael？No.Yeah.Yes.Yes.不，对对对MyparentsgotdivorcedwhenIwasfourteen.我爸妈在我14岁时就离婚了Mydad...thedog...heremarriedsixmonthsafterthedivorce.我爸6个月后就又重新结婚了Wow.Thatx27;squick.哇，闪婚Howdideverybodyreact?其他人有什么反应？Um...mymomthreatenedtokillherselfinfrontofme.我妈威胁说要在我面前自杀Pattygotdrunkinhercloset...everymorningbeforejuniorhighschool.初中以前的每个早上，Patty都醉倒在衣橱里Andyou?你呢？Well,um...Somebodyhadtoremembertotakeoutthetrash...总得有人记得去扔垃圾signthereportcards,buythemilk.签名成绩单、买牛奶So,um...thatkindofendedupbeingme.所以，这就是我Idonx27;twanttogetmarried...我不想结婚becauseIseehowmyparentsare.因为我看到我父母的婚姻Andtheyx27;vebeentogether,like,26years...他们在一起26年了andtheyx27;relikebrotherandsisteratthispoint.现在他们的关系更像是兄妹Mymothergoestothebathroomwiththedooropen.我妈去洗手间时不关门Thatx27;squot;A.quot;这是第一点Andquot;Bquot;...Itx27;sdisgusting.第二点，那太恶心了Idonx27;twantanypartofthat.我不想那样Iwantfirstkisses.我要亲吻Iwantpassion...我要激情thewholewaythrough.自始至终都要Itx27;sbetterthanhavingtokissyourhusbandx27;sassallthetime.总比一直给你老公拍马屁要好Yeah.对Ithinkthatyourdocumentary...wouldbeperfectforquot;InYourFace.quot;我觉得你的纪录片很适合“InYourFace”频道-See?Forgetit.忘了吧-No.不Youx27;reprobablythinkingmorelike,youknow...你可能更想要PB.S.orsomething.比如说公共电视台之类的No.No.Youknow不不whatitis,though?为什么呢？Itx27;sthatI..Boy.因为我……OK,whenImadethisthing...好吧，当我一开始拍这个片子时Ikindofmadethispromisetomyself...我对自己许了个承诺thatIwasnx27;tgoingtothinkabout...whereitwasgonnaendup我不会计划它能变成什么大作品becauseIdidnx27;twantto...unintentionallycommercializeit.因为我不想无意间将它商业化了No,Ithinkthatx27;sgreat.不，我觉得那很棒Imean,Ithinkyoushoulddefinitely...notunintentionallydoanything...我的意思是，你觉得不应该无意地做任何事情……thatyoux27;renotcomfortablewith.任何令你觉得不舒服的事情Imean,notthatIwouldintentionally...我不是说我会无意间……Well,plus，itx27;snotdoneyet,youknow.再者，片子还没完成呢Right.Iknow.Iknow.对，我知道Itwasjustastupid...只是我一个愚蠢的想法Youknow...IgottogotoNewYorkonWednesday...你知道，我周三要去纽约forthishugenetworkmeetingthing...参加一个大型的电视网络会议whichistotally...God,youwouldhateit.天哪，你会讨厌的Ihateit.Ijust...我也讨厌。但我只是Ijustthought...thattheywouldfreakoutoveryourtapes...我只是觉得那些人会被你的片子震惊的becausetheyneverseeanythingthatx27;sreallysmart...因为他们从未看过这么聪明andhasreal...youknow,qualityandis...good,likeyouandyourwork...这么真实的、优秀的东西，就像你和你的作品andIknowIx27;mbeingselfishand...我知道我有点自私Michael,um...Thatisliterally,literally...这真的是thenicestthingthatanyonex27;seversaidtome...从没有人对我说过这么美好、这么甜蜜的话thesweetestthingthatanyonex27;seversaidtome.So,whatareyoudoingfortherestofyourmorning?今天早上你还要干什么？Whatam...Oh,whatamIdoing?我要干什么？WhatamIdoing?Ooh.Well,Ihaveajobinterview.噢，我要去面试Lelaina,thisthingisfrom1988.Lelaina，这东西是1988年的Iknow.Hahaha!我知道，哈哈哈Soyoux27;re,like...sixyearslate.所以你已经迟到了6年Ithoughttheadsaidthatthiswasajob...foraproductionassistant.我记得广告里说的这份工作是制作助理Yes.Youwillbeassistingme...intheproductionofvideotapes,allright?对，你会帮助我去制作录像带Youx27;regoingtomakecopiesforme...manycopies.你要帮我做好多好多副本Oh,isthislikea...likeapirateoperation?这里做的是盗版吗？DoIlooklikeapiratetoyou?我看起来像是一个海盗吗？（英文海盗与盗版是同一个单词）Now,radioisallinstinct,Lelaina.Lelaina，现在的电台已经全都消失了Doyouknowwherealltheradiocomesfrom?你知道收音机来自哪里吗？Thegut.Itx27;sallinthegut.来自直觉，全都来自直觉Becausewhenyouthinkonyourfeet...因为当你站着思考时gottogofromyourgut.要顺着直觉去走Andmygutistellingme而我的直觉现在告诉我that,uh...thisisnx27;tgonnaworkout.你不太适合Maybeyourgutx27;sjustsayingyoux27;rehungryor...也许你的直觉正在告诉你饿了或者……Oh,no,no,no,no.噢不不不不Itx27;stellingmethat,uh...youx27;reoverqualifiedforthisjob.直觉告诉我，你做这份工作是低就了Ix27;mreallynotthatsmart.我真的没有那么聪明Nooffense,sweetie,亲爱的，没有冒犯的意思butyoudonx27;thave...anyexperienceonanewspaper.但你完全没有做报纸的经验Youx27;reTV.你是电视人Well,Ix27;mtryingtomakemytransitiontoprintjournalism.我正尝试要转型到纸媒Ah.Why?为什么？Well,newspapersarethelastwatchdogs...ofour...ourgovernment.纸媒是政府最后的监督者Theyenforcethechecksandbalances.保证三权分立Andonehalf-hourofTVonlyaddsupto...半小时的电视节目就能达到……OK.Allright.Defineirony.好了，解释讽刺的定义Irony.Uh...Irony.讽刺，嗯，讽刺Itx27;sanoun.是一个名词Itx27;swhensomethingis...ironic.Itx27;s,uh...当一些事情是讽刺的……Well,Icanx27;treallydefineirony...好吧，我没法说出讽刺的定义butIknowitwhenIseeit!但当我知道怎么使用这个词Hey.Hey.Oh,mygod.我的天哪Ix27;veneverbeensoglad...toseeanyoneinmyentirelife.见到你真高兴Thisdayhasbeenthebiggestnightmare.今天真是一个巨大的噩梦Imean,thesejobinterviews,Troy...这些工作面试thewordvivisection,astaggeringunderstatement.解剖每个词的意思，Canyoudefineirony?你能说出讽刺的定义吗？Itx27;swhentheactualmeaningisthecompleteopposite...fromtheliteralmeaning.讽刺就是当实际含义跟字面意思完全相反Yeah.Mygod.是啊，天哪WherewereyouwhenIneededyoutoday?当我那么需要你时你在哪儿？I...Ishouldgo.我，我要走了Oh,comeon.Isnx27;ttheresomestatuteoflimitationsforembarrassingincidents?别这样，尴尬事件总会过去嘛？Yourbravadowasembarrassing.你的逞能才令人尴尬。Hey,Troy,comeon.Troy别这样。Youcanstaywithmeforonecigarette.留下来陪我一起抽根烟。Iknowyoucanstaywithmeforonecigarette.我知道你能留下来陪我抽根烟。You,me,fivebucks,goodconversation.Right?你，我，喝着fivebucks，愉快的聊天，对不对？Lainie...Troy,youhavenx27;tbeenhomeinfourdays.Troy，你已经四天没回家了。Imean,wherehaveyoubeensleeping?你都睡在哪里呢？Igottogo.我要走了。Mom,Ineedtotalktoyouaboutaloan.妈，我想跟你借笔钱。Isitfordrugs?你吸毒了？No.No,itx27;snotfordrugs.不，不，我没吸毒。Iwasf...Ilostmyjob.我只是失业了。Butyoushouldnx27;thaveanytroublefindinganotherjob,sugarbugger.但你去找份新工作应该完全没问题呀，宝贝。No.See,Itried.不，我已经尝试过了。Iappliedforeverysingleopeninginmyfieldbuttherex27;sjust...我应聘过所有对口专业的职位，但……Therex27;snothingrightnow.现在都没成功。Hmm.Well...thenIhatetosayitbuttimesarehard.我只能说，时势艰难Youx27;rejustgonnahavetoswallowyourpride.你得收起你的骄傲。Whydonx27;tyougetajobatBurgerama?Theyx27;llhireyou.你为什么不去汉堡店呢？它家肯定会请你的。Mylord,IsawontheTVtheyhadthislittleretardedboyworkingthecashregister.我在电视上看到他们甚至还请了个弱智的小男孩当收银员呢。BecauseIx27;mnotretarded,mom.妈，我不是弱智。Iwasvaledictorianofmyuniversity.我是我们大学的优秀毕业生。Well,youdonx27;thavetoputthatdownonyourapplication.你不用写在你的申请表上呀。MissPierce,doyouhaveanyideawhatitmeanstobeacashieratWienerSchnitzel?Pierce小姐，你知道在“维也纳炸牛排”店当收银员要干什么吗？Yeah.Itx27;s,uh...takingordersandmakingchange,and,uhquot;thankyou.quot;知道，就是，点菜、找钱，还有，说“谢谢”No.Itx27;sajugglingact.不，你还得会变戏法。Ajugglingact?Youmean,like,metaphorically?变戏法？你这是个比喻吗？No.Imean,yougotpeoplecomingatyoufromthefront，comingatyoufromtheback,fromthesides，peopleatthecondimentexchange，peopleatthedrive-thru,kidsonbikes，andtheyx27;realldependingonwho?不，我的意思是，你的前面有人、后面有人、边上有人，调味料台边有人、汽车通道有人，还有骑单车的小孩。他们都要依靠谁？-Me?我？-Yeah.Yougottimetolean,yougottimetoclean,buddy.Allright?没错。你要自己找时间去偷懒，还得找时间去清洁。Yougottobe150percentonyourtoes150percentofthetime.你要在加倍的时间里加倍留神。Thereyougo,sir.这边请，先生。Andhaveax27;tude,wienerdude.Allrightie.好啦。OK.Ix27;mgoingtothrowafewnumbersoutatyouandyouputthemtogetherinyourheadasquickasyoucan.OK，现在我说几个数字，你要以最快速度加起来。-OK?-OK.Eighty-fiveandforty-five.Go.85加45是多少？One...forty?一百…四十？Nope.错。-One...fifty?一百…五十？-Nope.错。-One-sixty?一百六十？-Itx27;snotanauction.我们不是在拍卖。MissPierce,therex27;sareasonIx27;vebeenheresixmonths.Pierce小姐，我能在这里呆6个月是有原因的。WEATHERMAN:Fortheentiresummertime...occurringinoneday.ThenlastnightwehadsnowreportsinUtah.TodayreportsofI-70...RoyaltonHotel.Oh,hi.IsthistheRoyaltonHotel?Thatx27;swhatIsaid.Oh,sorry.Ididnx27;thearyou.Ix27;mlookingforaguestthere.HisnameisMichaelGrates.Holdonemoment,please.Thatguestisout.Wouldyouliketoleaveamessage?Oh...no.Thatx27;sOK.Ix27;lljusttryagainlater.Thanks.Hi.Ix27;mCherylGoodeandwelcometoquot;Wedgiequot;...theworldofhipcouture.Thisweek,wex27;reinsouth-centralLosAngeles...attheintersectionofFlorenceandNormandy...theflashpointoffashion.Thephattestgangstatrendwillincreaseyourpeace.ThisbandannabyDonnaKarin...isblueforCrips,redforBloods...andonlycostsseventy-fivedollars.Lainie,haveyouseenapackofguitarstrings?Ihavetobringthemtotheclub.Youknow,Ihopeheknows...thathestillhastopaysomerentaroundhere.Imean...Haha.Idonx27;tknowwherehethinkshex27;sspendinghisnights,but...Doyouknow?Ix27;mlateforajean-foldingseminar.Letx27;slocomote.Nowyoucancallyourownpersonalpsychic...anytime24hoursaday...thankstothenationwidePsychicDiscoveryNetwork.Youcanpickupthephoneandtalkdirectly...withanestablishedprofessionalpsychic...intheprivacyofyourownhome.Iwasunhappyinmycareer,andIneededachange.ButIdidnx27;tknowwhattodo.Itx27;sjustthatnothingisgoingdownaccordingtoplan.Imean,mybestfriend...IfeellikeIx27;velosthimforever...andhewaslikemytouchstone,youknow.WOMANONTELEPHONE:Thisman...doeshisnamestartwiththeletterquot;Nquot;?BecauseIx27;mgettingaverystrongquot;Nquot;vibration.Newsstand.quot;N,quot;newsstand.Heusedtoworkatanewsstand.Uh-huh.Oh,god.Thisisunbelievable.Honey,thatx27;snotallIx27;mgetting.TherearepeopleIknowfromhighschool...whoarealreadymarriedandhavingbabies.Imean,babies,OK?Icanx27;teventakecareofaChiaPet.Well,honey,Ididnx27;thavekids...untilIwasonmythirdhusband.Oh,really?AllGeminis.YouknowwhatIthink,Tanell?IthinkyoustillreallyloveMonty.Yeah,youx27;reprobablyright...butitdonx27;tmatternow.Oh,yes,itdoes,Tanell.Iknowyoux27;reafraid,butyoux27;vegottofindhim...andyoux27;vegottotellhimhowyoureallyfeel.Findhim?Igot...Lelaina.Weneedtotalktoyou.Holdon,Tanell.Holdon.Ix27;monthephone.Yeah,Icanseethat...andwehaveafour-hundredandsixdollarphonebill...mainlyduetosomecallstoa1-900number.Lelaina,Ix27;msoseriouslytroubled...Listen,wex27;dhelpyouout,butwex27;rebroke,too.Andyouknowwecanx27;taffordanewdeposit...ifthephonegetsshutoff.MaybeyoucouldborrowthemoneyfromMichael.No,Sammy.Jesus.Lainie,whatareyoudoing?Whatareyoudoing?Youlayonthatcouchallday.Thosepajamasarelikeyouruniform.Yourunupafour-hundreddollarphonebill.YouwatchTV.Youchain-smoke.Youdonx27;tgooutside.Youdonx27;tdoanything.Man,youareinthebelljar.Look,thisismyapartment.Isignedthelease.Iletyoumoveinherewhenyouhadnojob,nomoney...andyouspongedoffmefortwomonths!Sponged?Uh-huh.AndnowMissBigPowerMarm...Missquot;Ix27;mmanageroftheGapnowquot;...youthinkyoucanjustcomeinhereandpushmearound?!Shex27;snotbeingpushy.Sammy,whatareyouevendoinghere?Youdonx27;tlivehere!Hey,mylittleunemployedwaif...youx27;retheonewhox27;slookingforworknow,OK?God,youx27;rereallyenjoyingthis,arenx27;tyou?Youx27;rehigh.Whydonx27;tyougotakeawalkoutsideandgetsomefreshair?Youx27;vebeenwaitingforthissincethedaywemet.Whotoldyouthat?Yourpsychicpartner?Ix27;lltellyoutheproblemwithyourgeneration.Youdonx27;thaveanyworkethic.Now,youtakeyourfriendTroy,forexample.Iwentoutofmywaytosetupaninterviewforhim...andhedidnx27;tevenbothertoshowup.Thatwasnx27;thisfault.Heaskedmetocallandcancel.Andeverythingwasgoingon.Anditslippedmymind.AndIx27;m...sorry,but,youknow,Ihaveaworkethic,dad.Ihaveaverystrongworkethic,youknow.Askanyone.Thenallyougottodoisshowsomeingenuity,hmm?Darling,Iloveyou,andIhatetobreakyourplate...butyougottogrowupsometime.Now,Iwantyoutogooutthereandshowmesomeingenuity,hmm?Letmetalkwithyou,mybabyItisbadtosaythatmaybeItistimeforyoutosayweCametoshareapointofviewLivinginthenever-neverDroppingoutofheretogetherIcouldspendsometimeforeverWithagirllikeyou,letmehearyousayLetx27;sgo,oohYouwanttoturnitin,turnitintoheaven,yeahLetx27;sgoOoh,ooh,oohYouwanttoturnitin,turnitintoheaven,yeahRighthereonearth.LookingfortomorrowCanyouseeusoneday?BegorstealorborrowWecouldliveforeverNevertosayneverYouwillbeformeIwillfightforyou,nowLetx27;sgoOoh,ooh,oohYouwanttoturnitin,turnitintoheaven,yeah...Well,thatsolvesourfirstproblem.Rentx27;sduethisweek.Well,well.Lookwhofinallydecidedtograceuswithhis...Presence.Thisis...Thisis,uh,Jean.Janine.Uh,Janine.Janine.Itx27;salittleloudintheclub.Excuseme.Canx27;tstayhere,Troy.Ix27;mjustgonnapicksomethingup.Well...Missionaccomplished.Nowleave.IthinkmaybeIx27;mgonnawait...Alwaysthemistressofetiquette,huh,Lainie?Justoutofcuriosity...whyareyousuddenlyactinglikeajealousgirlfriend?Allright.Wex27;rejusttryingtopaybillshere,OK?So,Troy,ifyougotanymoney...Money?Oh,butwhatx27;smoneytoanartist?Toaphilosopher?Itx27;sjustgreen-coloredpaper...thatfloatsinandoutofhislifelikesnow.Itx27;snothingyouactuallyhaveto,Idonx27;tknow,workfor...isit,Troy?No,notifyouhavedaddyx27;slittlegascard.Youshutup!Youshutup!Ibustedmyasstofindajob,anyjob!Youdonx27;tevenbothershowingupforinterviews!Whatisitthatyouwantfromme?Huh?Whatisit?Youwantmetogetajobontheline...forthenext20years,untilIx27;mgrantedleave...withmygold-platedwatchandmyballsfulloftumors...becauseIsurrenderedtheonethingthatmeansshittome?Well,honey,youcanjustexhale...becauseitx27;snotgonnahappen,notinthislifetime.Allright,fine!Youdonx27;twanttowork,fine!Lainie,goddamnit!Youwanttobeaband,thenbeagoddamnband!Rehearseeveryday!Playeverynight!Playthreetimesanight!Donx27;tjustdickaroundthesamecoffeehouseforfiveyears!Donx27;tdickaroundwithherorwithme.Imean,tryatsomething,foronceinyourlife!Dosomethingaboutit,butyouknowwhat?Youbetterdoitnow,andyoubetterdoitfast...becausetheworlddoesnx27;toweyouanyfavors...andwhetheryouknowitornot...youx27;reontheinsidetracktoLoserville,U.S.A...justlikehim.OK.Itx27;sjusttoopsychoticinherenow.Allright,Lelaina,letx27;sgoforawalk.Fine.Comeon,man.Letthemgo.Withpleasure,myfriends.Withpleasure.Ha.quot;Withpleasurequot;?YouknowwhoIreallyfeelsorryfor...isthatpoorgirl.Oh,howaboutwhenhesneakshislaundryinwithours?Itx27;slikeIx27;mpullingthatstuffoutofthedryer...andtherex27;sfivepairsofhisboxers...Ijustwashedunknowingly.No,Ix27;lljustthrowitbackinhisface.Yeah,likeIx27;mgonnadohislaundry.Yeah.Hex27;sweird.Hex27;sstrange.Hex27;ssloppy.Hex27;satotalnightmareforwomen.Icanx27;tbelieveIhavenx27;tsleptwithhimyet.Doyoueverwishyouwerealesbian?Donx27;tyouthinkitwouldbesomucheasier?Sometimes,but...Nah.Icouldnx27;tgothroughwithit.Ix27;dstartlaughingorsomething.Butitx27;ssuchashame...becauseIamsothroughwithmen.Ifonemoreguywalksoutonme...Idonx27;tevenknowwhat.Iswear.Whatareyoutalkingabout...Walkoutonyou?Youwalkoutonthem.Ix27;veseenyou.Youx27;reoutthedoorbeforethecondomcomesoff.Listentome,Ix27;mjustbeatingthemtothepunch.OK.Youdonx27;tevenknowIx27;msittinghere...maybe...ProbablydyingofA.I.D.S.AndIx27;mtotallyalone.Vickie...Well,uh...youx27;renotalone.Hey.Look,Ix27;msorryforeverythingIsaid...andIx27;msorryforbeingsuchabitch...butIhavetotellyou,youx27;renotalone.Youx27;renot,andyoux27;renotdyingofA.I.D.S.Youdonx27;tunderstand.Everyday,allday...itx27;sallthatIthinkabout,OK?EverytimeIsneeze...itx27;slikeIx27;mfoursneezesawayfromthehospice.Anditx27;slikeitx27;snotevenhappeningtome.Itx27;slikeIx27;mwatchingitonsomecrappyshow...likequot;MelrosePlacequot;orsomeshit,right?AndIx27;mthenewcharacter.Ix27;mtheH.I.V.-A.I.D.S.character...andIliveinthebuilding,andIteacheverybody...thatitx27;sOKtobenearme,itx27;sOKtotalktome...andthenIdie...andtherex27;severybodyatmyfuneral...wearinghaltertopsandchokersorsomeshitlikethat.Vickie,stop,OK?Juststop.Youx27;refreakingout,andyouknowwhat?Youx27;regonnahavetodealwiththeresults.Whatevertheyare,wex27;regonnahavetodealwiththem...justlikewex27;vedealtwitheverythingelse.Thisisnx27;tlikeeverythingelse.Iknowthat,allright?Butitx27;sgonnabeOK,youknow?Iknowitx27;sgonnabeOK.quot;MelrosePlacequot;isareallygoodshow.WOMANONLOUDSPEAKER:LelainaPierce.IsthereaLelainaPiercehere?Yeah.Hello.Lelaina?Haha!Hi!Look,Ihadtocallyourightaway.Listen,listen.Donx27;tkillme,OK?What?What?Itookthetape,andIshowedit.No.Wait,wait,wait.Listen.Theyfreakedout.Theywanttobuythem.-No.-Yes.Theylikedit?No,no.Imean,they,like,psychoticallylovedit.Theywanttopayyouforit.Iknowthisisnx27;tPB.S.,butisthisOK?Yes!Iwasthisclosetosellingfruitatintersections.Well,donx27;t,allright?Donx27;t.Justhangon,andIx27;mgonnagetyousomemoney...andIx27;mgonnabedownthereinafewdays...andIjust...Ix27;mjust,like...Ix27;mthinkingaboutyoueverysecondhere.Hello!Hello!Hello!Hello!Canyouhearmenow?Whereareyou?Ix27;minaphonebooth.Whyareyouonacellularphone?Idonx27;tknow.Ihavenoidea.Ix27;mjust...Michael,Michael,Michael,I...Ireallymissyou!Ireallymissyou,too.Iloveyou.Oh!Whoa!Imean...Imean...youamazeme.No!Youamazeme!Hello?Canyouhearme?Michael,Ix27;mlosingyou.Ix27;mgonnacallyouback.Wait.What?Payphoneoutside...alwaysamazesme.Hey.quot;Tryme.Ix27;mfree.quot;Goodmag.Goodmag.-Negatory.-Yeah!Allright!Didyouhearthat?Negative!Here.Letmeseethat.Hey,hey!Allrightie!Thanksforthehelp,Lainie.Acelebrationzoom.OK.Enough.-Ma!-Ix27;mrighthere,son.-Ma.-Yeah?Ihavetotellyousome...thing.Iam...a...homo...sexual.Oh,Christ.IsthereasupportgroupthatIcanjoin...tohelpmecometotermswithmyownhomophobia?Yes,thereis...agroupwhichisnamedPFL.A.G....ParentsandFriendsofLesbiansandGays.Oh.Oh.PFL.A.G.Ix27;mbeginningtolikethesoundofthat.Whatyoux27;vejustwitnessedhereisapreenactment...ofeventsthatareabouttotakeplace.Well...Icameouttoher,and...shex27;sstillalittlebitupset.Butyouknow...Youknow,Ithinktherealreason...thatIx27;vebeencelibateforsolong...isnx27;treallybecauseIx27;mthatterrifiedofthebigquot;Aquot;...butbecauseIcanx27;treallystartmylife...withoutbeinghonestaboutwhoIamand...SAMMYONTAPE:Iwanttobeinthere,too.Iwanttofeelmiserableandhappyandallofthat.Imean,I...Iwantto...Iwanttobeletbackinthehouse.Hello.Oh,hi.Um...sorry.Just...thedoorwas...SoIjust,um...Yeah,shex27;sgettingdressed.Great.Ix27;lljust...Oh,I,um...Idonx27;tknowifshetoldyou...butIjustcamebackfromNewYork...withthetapesthatshemade,andthestuffofyou...itx27;sreally...itx27;sreallygreatstuff.Really.Thatwhole...thatwholethingabout...quot;Nobodycaneatalltheeggs,quot;thatwas...thatwasreally...IwasquotingCoolHandLuke.Yeah.Thatx27;sOK.Imean...Thatx27;s...Iknow.Itx27;s...Imean...Youknow...Itx27;sstill...Itx27;s...Hi.-Hi.-Hi.Whathappenedtoyournormalclothes?Wow!Lelaina,lookatyou.Youlook...Wherex27;dyougetthatdress?Oh,um...Idonx27;tknow.Ijustboughtit.ButIthinkIx27;mgonnagochangebecause...No,donx27;t.Youlookbeautiful.Youlooklike...Youlooklike...Adoily.-Ix27;mgonnachange.-No,donx27;tchange.Anddonx27;tgothinkingforyourselfeither,Lainie.Hey,whatisyourglitch,huh?Myquot;glitchquot;?Youknowwhat?Wex27;realreadylate.No,no,no,no.Hangonasecondhere.Doyouhave,like,aproblemwithmeorsomething?Becauseifyoudo,letx27;sjustgetthisout,allright?Seriously,isthere,like...Imean,haveI,like,uh...steppedoversomelineinthesandsofcoolnesswithyou?Because..Because...No,no,no.Excuseme...ifsomebodydoesnx27;tknowthesecrethandshakewithyou.Therex27;snosecrethandshake.Therex27;sanI.Q.prerequisite,buttherex27;snosecrethandshake.I...Thisis...You...No...Thisguy...youx27;vegotthiswholethingwiththeworld.Donx27;tyou?Huh?Thatx27;sgreat.Thatx27;sreallywonderful.Butguesswhat.Ix27;mahumanbeing,OK?Wex27;rehumanbeings,people,OK?Wex27;renot,like,intelligencequotationsorwhatever.-Justignorehim.-No!Done.Comeon.Letx27;sgo.Youdonx27;tneedthis.Youdonx27;tknowwhatsheneeds.IthinkIknowwhatsheneedsinawaythatyouneverwill.Letx27;sgo.Baby,tellmethatmyloveainx27;tgoodIdonx27;ttreatyouright,Idonx27;tdoyoulikeIshould...Listen,thatx27;sgottobebackhere,OK?-Hi.-Hi.So,youready?Well,whatx27;sitlike?Imean...Itx27;sgreat.Itx27;sgreat.Imean,Ihavenx27;tactuallyseenityet...butwehadourbestguysworkingonit...and,youknow,wejustputsometitleson...andshapeditalittlebit.Itx27;sgonnabegreat.OK.OK,OK.OK.Thanks.OK,everybody,itx27;saspecialnight...because,asyouknow,wex27;reenteringinto...anewphasehereatthechannel...realprogramming.Andourfirststepisthisremarkablepiece...byLelaina.Sohangon,becausethisisgoingtochange...thefaceofquot;InYourFace.quot;Whatx27;sthis?Itx27;sjusttransitionalstuff.MAN,SINGING:Lalala-lalaThestoryofmylifeWex27;refinished!SINGING:Schoolx27;soutforeverIamnotunderanyorderstomaketheworldabetterplace.Andyouwonderwhywenevergotinvolved.SINGING:Schoolx27;sbeenblowntopiecesSINGING:LovecanmakeyouweepIdonx27;twanttogetmarried...becauseIseehowmyparentsare.-Myparentsgotdivorced...-Myparentsgotdivorced...-WhenIwasfourteen.-WhenIwasfiveyearsold.Mymotheractuallygoestothebathroomwiththedooropen.IsworetomyselfIx27;dnevergetmarried.Iwantpassion.Letx27;stalkaboutsex,baby,letx27;stalkabout...Turnsyouon,doesnx27;tit?Brownies!Wouldyoutwojustdoitandgetitoverwith?Ix27;mstarving.Oh,mygod.LELAINA,ONVIDEO:Butthequestionremains...Howcanwerepairallthedamageweinherited?Iwastoldtherex27;dbenomathonthisexam.CanIchangemyanswer?Theanswerissimple.Wex27;reonaroadtonowhereJesus.Theansweris...The-the-theansweris...Pizza!Pizza.Pizza.Haha.Oh...-Itx27;s,um...-Yeah,right.Wex27;reonaroadtonowhereButherewegoLelaina.Lelaina,look.Ix27;msorry,allright?Ididnx27;tknow.Thatwasnotmywork,Michael.Thatx27;snotwhatIdid.Thatx27;snotwhatIwant.Ithadnothing!Icanx27;tbelieveItrustedyou!Ihadnoidea!Ididnx27;tseeit!Imean,look.Iguessitwasprobablyalittleslow...andtheycutitupalittle...Cutitup?Theycutupeverythingthatmeantanythingtome!Imean,Idonx27;teventhinkyourealizewhatyoux27;vedone.Youdonx27;tgetit.Youjustdonx27;tgetit!Idogetit!Look.Itjust...Itx27;s,like,youhavethisgreatpieceofwork...andwehavethisaudience,thesekids...anditx27;sliketryingtofeedthemmeatloaforsomething...andtheydonx27;twanttoeatit,right?Soyouhavetogivethem,like,quot;Herecomestheplane.quot;Itx27;scomingintothehangar.Openupthehangar.quot;Butitx27;sstillmeatloaf.Itwasnevermeatloaf!Thatx27;sabad...Ijust...Look,Ix27;msorry,allright?Theywerejusttryingtomarketit.AndIwishIcouldbeperfect,OK?IwishIcouldbelikeTroy...ridingonhismeltedcheesesandwichandeverything.Donx27;tyoudarebringTroyintothis.Hey,IwishIcouldbelikehim.IwishIcouldliveoffofcreedsandmottoes...andallthatshit,allright?ButIx27;mintherealworldhere,OK?AndIhaveidealsalso.Theyx27;rethatI...Icareaboutyou...andIwanttomakeyouhappy...andIx27;m...Ijust...Look...Ix27;llmakethemtakethepizzathingout,OK?Ix27;mjustabillYes,Ix27;monlyabillAndIx27;msittinghereonCapitolHillWell,itx27;salong,longjourneyto...Howx27;dthebigpremiereturnout?Fine.Theywerejustvideotapes,right?Whocares?Haha.Ijustworkedsohardonthem,youknow?Iworkedsohard.Ah,forgetit.Ijustsoundpathetic.No,youdonx27;t.Youdonx27;tsoundpathetic.Youknow,Iknowitsoundsstupid...butitreallymeantsomethingtome.Iknowitwasnx27;tgonna,youknow,endworldhunger...or,youknow,savetheplanet...butitjustmeantsomethingtome.Ijustdonx27;t...Understandwhythingsjustcanx27;tgobacktonormal...attheendofthehalf-hour...likeonquot;TheBradyBunchquot;orsomething.Well,becauseMr.BradydiedofA.I.D.S.Thingsdonx27;tworkoutlikethat.Iwasreallygonnabesomethingbytheageoftwenty-three.Honey,allyouhavetobebytheageoftwenty-three...isyourself.Idonx27;tknowwhothatisanymore.Well,Ido.Andweallloveher.Iloveher.Uh...Shebreaksmyheartagainandagain...but,uh...ButIloveher.Ix27;vewantedyoulikethisforalltheseyears.Hey.Hi.Haha.Whereareyougoing?Ihaverehearsal.At8:24inthemorning?Yeah.Haha.-So...thatx27;sit?-No.No,thatx27;snot...Itx27;snotit.Ijust...I,uh...Ihavetogo.Gotapartymama,gotacokeheaddadIx27;mtheultimateinversion,theAmericanmanDonx27;tfeelgood,butdonx27;tfeelbadItx27;sme,yousee,Ix27;mnuthinx27;Iainx27;tleft,Iainx27;trightIfeelsoaloneBeforeIwasborn,IwasallgoneDonx27;tevenmakesensethatIwrotethissongx27;Cause...Tellmeitx27;snottrue.TROY,SINGING:Itx27;sme,yousee,Ix27;mnuthinx27;Ix27;mnuthinx27;Nuthinx27;Thatx27;smeIx27;mnuthinx27;Lainie,sexisthequickestwaytoruinafriendship.Comeon.Thankyou.Wex27;llberightback...withanewAmericancheesesnackidea.Yougotaphonecall.Lelaina.-Hi.-Hi.Donx27;tsayanything,allright?Look,Iscrewedup,allright?Iknow.Ishouldhaveprotectedyouandyourwork...andIdidnx27;t,andIx27;msorry.Ix27;msosorrythatIdidnx27;t.AndIwanttomakethisuptoyou,OK?Youmeansomuchtome,Lelaina...andIjust...Look,twotickets,allright,NewYork.Wego,andwegivethemapresentation...oftheshowthewayyouwantitdone.Michael,Idonx27;t...Iknow.Iknow,butthistimeisdifferent.Imean,whox27;stheboss,huh?Huh?TonyDanza?No.Idonx27;tthinkso.Itx27;syou.Itx27;syourshow,andIjust...Ijust...youknow,feellikemaybe...Ideserveanothershothere.Well,hi,Lelaina.Hi.What,isthereafroginyourthroat...orareyoujustgladtoseeme?Hi,Mike.Thanksforcomingdown,man.Nohardfeelings.Lelaina,youx27;relookingalittlepeaked.Yeah.AreyouOK?Shex27;sfine.Shex27;sfine.Shex27;sjusthadtoomanyDietCokestoday.Yeah,thisgirliscuckooforCocoaPuffs.Ha.So,areyougonnatellhim,oramI?Couldyouexcuseme?CouldItalktoyou?Hi.Youwanttotellmewhatthehellhex27;sdoinghere?Iwantedtotalktoyou.Whatthehelldoyoucare?Youtotallybailedonmethismorning.Ipanicked.Ithappens.Ithoughtwecouldworkitout,youknow.Imean,Idonx27;tknowifnowistherighttimeforus.Look,ImeanteverythingthatIsaidtoyoulastnight.Donx27;tlookatmelikethat.Donx27;tlookatmelikethat.Thatx27;snotwhatIx27;msaying.Ix27;mnotsayingI...Look,youaretheonlywoman...thatIcouldevercommitmyselfto.Sowhat?DoIgetamedal?Iwinthebigcommitmentcook-off,andyoujustrunaway?Iknewthiswasgonnahappen!Iknewthiswasgonnahappen!Idonx27;twanttoloseyou.Ix27;veneverbeeninanexperiencelikethisbefore.Ix27;veneverhadsexwithsomebodythatIlovedbefore.Oh,well,congratulations,TroyDyer.Welcometotheworldoftheemotionallyimmature.Itx27;sareallyniceplacetovisit.Hey,youmayrunintoMichael.Heliveshere.Oh,yeah,right.Michael.Michael.Hex27;ssomature...becauseheletsyounavigatethatentirerelationship.Well,Ix27;msorry,Lelaina,butyoucanx27;tnavigateme.Imightdomeanthings,andImighthurtyou...andImightrunawaywithoutyourpermission...andyoumighthatemeforever.AndIknowthatthatscarestheshitoutofyou...becauseIx27;mtheonlyrealthingthatyouhave.Yeah?Well,thatainx27;trealmuch.One,two,three,four.Hey,Troy,man,youx27;reon.Michael,Ix27;msorry...Listen,Ix27;msorry,allright?Thatx27;swhatthisisallabout.Thisonex27;sforyou,Lainie.Whycanx27;tIgetjustonekiss?Whycanx27;tIgetjustonekiss?Youtoldmetherex27;dbesomethingsthatIwouldnx27;tmissButIlookedatyourpantsAndIneedakissWhycanx27;tIgetjustonescrew?Whycanx27;tIgetjustonescrew?Believeme,Ix27;dknowwhattodoButsomethingwonx27;tletmemakelovetoyouWhycanx27;tIgetjustoneah?Whycanx27;tIgetjustoneah?Oh,nicejob.Verywelldone.Reallygood.Idonx27;twanttohearitfromyou.Yeah?Well,IforgotIx27;mnotqualifiedtotalktoyou.Ix27;msorryIcanx27;tbeMister...Hey,lookatme.Ix27;mBuddhaonthemountaintop.Youknowwhatyouare,man?Youwhatwhatyouremindmeof?Youx27;relikethatguy,youknow,withthe...withthehatandthebellsandthelittle,youknow...Thecourtjester.Yeah,right.Whereeverythingx27;ssoeasytolaughat...fromasafedistancebackinClever-CleverLand.Youknowwhathappenstohim?Theyfindhisskullinagrave,andtheygo...quot;Oh,Iknewhim,andhewasfunny.quot;Andtheguy,thecourtjester,diesallbyhimself.Wherex27;dyouhearthat,aRenaissancefestival?Besides,everyonediesallbyhimself.Ifyoureallybelievethat...Whoareyoulookingforouthere?SINGING:YousayyouwantDiamondsonaringofgoldYousayyouwantYourstorytoremainuntoldButallthepromiseswemakeFromthecradletothegraveWhenallIwantisyouYousayyoux27;llgivemeAhighwaywithnooneonitTreasurejusttolookuponitAlltherichesinthenightYousayyoux27;llgivemeEyesinamoonofblindnessAriverinatimeofdrynessAharbourinthetempestButallthepromiseswemakeFromthecradletothegraveWhenallIwantisyouHello.Hello?SINGING:AllIwantisyouAllIwantisyouAllIwantisyou...-Hey,Lainie.ThisisLance.-Hi.Um...Ijustneedtoknowifhex27;sOK.Huh?OK.AllIknowishewentbacktoChicago...alone.Ix27;mnotsupposedtoknowthat,amI?Shit.Shit.Hi.IwaswonderingifIcouldtalktoyouforaminute...beforeyougo.See,thethingisthat,um...Well...mydaddied.Oh,god,Troy.Ix27;msorry.Ix27;msosorry.No.It...Whathappenedwasthat,um...Ikindofgotthisarcaneglimpseattheuniverse.AndthebestthingthatIcansayaboutthatis...Idonx27;tknow.I...Ihavethis...thisplanetofregret...sittingonmyshoulders.AndyouhavenoideahowmuchIwishthatIcouldgoback...tothatmorningafterwemadelove...anddoeverythingdifferent.ButIknowthatIcanx27;t,so...IthoughtthatIwouldcomehereandtellyousomething.AndwhatIwantedtotellyou...wasthatIloveyou...and,uh...justwantedtomakesurethatthatwasclear...sothattherewasnx27;tanyconfusion.Um...So,anyway,uh...Whereareyougoing?Iwasgoingtolookforyou.Whatfor?Just...wantedtoseeifyouwereOK.Well,Ihadashittyweek,youknow.Afroggywenta-courting,andhedidrideWithaswordandapistolbyhissideUh-huh,uh-huh,mmm-hmm-hmmWell,heroderightuptoMissMousiex27;sdoor...TROYONANSWERINGMACHINE:Atthebeep...pleaseleaveyourname,number,andabriefjustification...fortheontologicalnecessity...ofmodernmanx27;sexistentialdilemma...andwex27;llgetbacktoyou.Uh,Lelaina,thisisyourdad.Givemeacallwhenyougetthis.Ineedyoutoexplainsomething.Ijustgotanine-hundred-dollarbillonmygascard.Ifweshouldfall,lovewillcatchuseverytimeIhearyoucall,IwillrunAndifthemagicoftheadventureovercomesWewonx27;tcry,becauseitcouldbefunWhatIx27;mtryingtodoisconstantlyfindthosepeople...findoutwhatmakesthemthebestandbringthat...Tiredofgettingrazzesforbeingbald?Ix27;monlyayoungman.NomoredateswhereIx27;vebeencalledoldman.Roy,whyareyoudoingthistome?Iknowwecanbehappytogether.Youx27;llchillintime.Rightnow,Ineedsomeone...whounderstandswhatmymusicandthebandmeantome.Butitx27;sjustmusic,Roy.Ix27;mahumanbeingwithdeepfeelings...whofeelsthingsdeeply.Musicisfeeling,babe.Thebandmaybeasmalldream,butitx27;stheonlyoneIx27;vegot.Ix27;mAudi5000.Pleasedonx27;tlethimgetdrunkanddrive.SINGING:Wonx27;tbeverylongTillIx27;mgoing,going,goneYousayIonlyhearwhatIwanttoYousayItalksoallthetimeSo?AndIthoughtwhatIfeltwassimpleAndIthoughtthatIdonx27;tbelongAndnowthatIamleavingNowIknowthatIdidsomethingwrongx27;CauseImissedyouYeah,yeah,ImissedyouAndyousayIonlyhearwhatIwanttoIdonx27;tlistenhard,Idonx27;tpayattentionTothedistancethatyoux27;rerunningOrtoanyone,anywhereIdonx27;tunderstandifyoureallycareIx27;monlyhearingnegative,no,no,no,noNo...SoIturnedtheradioon,IturnedtheradioupAndthiswomanwassingingmysongTheloverx27;sinlove,andtheotherx27;srunawayTheloveriscryingx27;causetheotherwonx27;tstaySomeofushoverwhenweweepfortheotherWhowasdyingsincethedaytheywereborn,wellWell,thisisnotthat,IthinkthatIx27;mthrowingButIx27;mthrownAndIthoughtIx27;dliveforever,butnowIx27;mnotsosureYoutrytotellmethatIx27;mcleverButthatwonx27;ttakemeanyhowOranywherewithyouYousaidthatIwasnaiveandIthoughtthatIwasstrong,noIthought,hey,Icanleave,Icanleave,thoughButnowIknowthatIwaswrongBecauseImissedyouYeah,Imissedyou本文版权归作者Hey~所有，任何形式转载请联系作者。