Alice’sspeechattheAlzheimer’sAssociation

Goodmorning,it’sanhonortobehere.ThepoetElizabethBishoponcewrote:Theartoflosingisn’thardtomaster.Somanythingsseemfilledwiththeintenttobelostthattheirlostisnodisaster.Iamnotapoet.IamapersonlivingwithearlyonsetAlzheimer’s,andasthatpersonIfindmyselflearningtheartoflosingeveryday.Losingmybearings,losingobjects,losingsleep,butmostlylosingmemories.(Thenherspeechpapersfellontheground)Em,IthinkIwilltrytoforgetthatjusthappened.(Shejokedafterpickingupthepapers)Allmylife,I’veaccumulatedmemories;they’vebecomeinawaymymostpreciouspossessions.ThenightImetmyhusband,thefirsttimeIheldmytextbookinmyhands,havingchildren,makingfriends,travelingtheworld.EverythingIaccumulatedinlife,everythingIworkedsohardfor,nowallthatisbeingrippedaway.Asyoucanimagine,orasyouknow,thisishell,butitgetsworse.Whocantakeusseriouslywhenwearesofarfromwhoweoncewere?Ourstrangebehaviorandfumbledsentenceschangeother’sperceptionsofusandourperceptionsofourselves.Webecomeridiculous,incapable,comic,butthisisnotwhoweare,thisisourdisease.Andlikeanydisease,ithasacause,ithasaprogression,anditcouldhaveacure.Mygreatestwishisthatmychildren,ourchildren,thenextgenerationdonothavetofacewhatIamfacing.Butforthetimebeing,I’mstillalive,IknowI’malive.IhavepeopleIlovedearly,IhavethingsIwanttodowithmylife.Irailagainstmyselffornotbeingabletorememberthings.ButIstillhavemomentsinthedayofpurehappinessandjoy.AndpleasedonotthinkthatIamsuffering,Iamnotsuffering.Iamstruggling,strugglingtobeapartofthings,tostayconnectedtowhoIoncewas.SolivinginthemomentItellmyself.It’sreallyallIcando.Liveinthemoment,andnotbeatmyselfuptoomuch,and,andnotbeatmyselfuptoomuchformasteringtheartoflosing.OnethingIwilltrytoholdontothoughisthememoryofspeakingheretoday.Itwillgo,Iknowitwill,itmaybegonebytomorrow.Butitmeanssomuchtobetalkingheretodaylikemyoldambitiousselfwhowassofascinatedbycommunication.Thankyouforthisopportunity.Itmeanstheworldtome.Thankyou!