NotesontheIdealLife

Finishingthesecondseasoninoneday,eatingicecreamsuntilbrainfreezekickedin.ThenItookibuprofenandcontinuedwatching.Itisaverydepressingshow,mostlybecauseitisbrutallyhonest.Thisseasonisevenmorehonestthanthefirstoneinthataswegettoknowthecharacters,theirdemonsfromthepaststartragingandscreaming.Everyonehastheirdemonslurkingsomewhere,readytojumpintothepresentwheneverweletourguardsdown.Noneofusquiteunderstanditandmostofthetime,weareslavesofourdesires,habits,andmemories.Thefearandloveweexperiencedneverleaveus.Withnomightypoweraboveus,weareallgropingourwayforward.Wedothingswedonx27;tunderstand,andwerunawayfromtheconsequencesbecausesomehowwedonx27;tevenknowhowtoblameourselves.Wetrytocopewithviolence,drugs,oralcoholandwex27;reworriedthatperhapswex27;reinherentlyevilandbeyondsalvation.Weyearntobelovedandcared,andyetweoftenpushintimacyawaywhenitreachesourinnershell.Wedonx27;tknowhowtogiveourselvestoanotherhumanbeingbecausewex27;resoafraidofgettinghurtorhurtingoneswelove.Tosumup,lifeissooftenfuckedup.Buteveryoneistryingtopretendaperfectionwhichispropagatedbythesocialvaluesandfashionideas.Afamilyshouldbelovingandnurturing.Ateenagershouldbeworkinghardandgettingintotopcolleges.Amanshouldbecharmingandresponsiblewhileawomanshouldbecaringandwarm.Bullshittingstereotypesthatlockpeoplein.Weenvyperfectneighborswhilemoaningaboutourownmessyliveswhiletheneighborsaredoingtheexactsamething.Wex27;redishonest.Thesocietyisencouragingustobedishonest.Butlifeismessyforeveryone.Thisisthehardtruth.Andthecharactersinthisseasonareleadingsuchcomprehensivestrugglesandinnerbattlesthatasaforeignviewergrowingupinacompletelydifferentculture,Ix27;mveryconvincedandcanidentifywithcountlesspsychologicaltormentssufferedbythecharacters.Itisthisbrutalhonestyaboutlifethatmakesthesepeoplevividandreal.Youcanberatethemforfoolishnessandmisconduct,butyoucanalsoappreciatethevulnerabilityandkindnesswithin.Giventhatwex27;reallvulnerableandfoolishinthefaceofthismessylife,whatindeed,isanideallife?Ix27;vefantasizedaboutmyversionofanideallifeinwhichIx27;mlivingwithbooksandamfreetorunandtravelwheneverIwant.Notorments,ofcourse.Butthisismorelikepurefantasy.Iguessmorerealistically,anideallifewhichisstillfullofourdemonsandwherepeoplehurtandloveeachotheratthesametime,aslongasyoukeeptryingandgoing,itisanideallife.Youtrytokeepyourshittogetherandwhenyoucanx27;t,youtakeabreakandcomeback,andfacetheresponsibilitiesyouhavetoshoulder.Youjusthavetotryandtrickyourselfintobelievingthatitgetsbetter.Trytoliveanhonestlifeasmuchaswecan.Behonestwithourselvesandthepeoplearoundus.Badthingswillhappenandourdemonswillstillhauntus.Butwehavetolearntofaceitandtrytounderstandit.Andwhenlifeisindeedsooverwhelmingandcruel,wehavetherighttostopforawhileoreventoquit.Tome,thisistheideallifeandtheFisherx27;sarestilltrying.本文版权归作者西山所有，任何形式转载请联系作者。